Monday, December 31, 2007

2007 - Long, long gone.

The year of our Lord, Two Thousand Seven; is in it’s final hours. The year’s end is a time of reflection and a chance to look forward, reassess where we stand now and where we want to go in the future. It’s a time to make plans, set goals, hope and learn. Some just get loaded. Aye… even I have resembled a Jello Biafra song, too drunk to fuck, indeed.

It’s been a year of tumultuous events but hardly anything seems to have changed in the world for the better. The scope of this past year’s craziness is so vast that I’m going to miss some events while writing, which is probably a good thing as I don’t want this to be a 5,000 word essay. So here they are, the stories of 2007:


The Democratic Party assumed control of both houses of Congress and immediately proceeded to turn into stone. The 110th Congress has done fuck all regarding the issues they were elected to remedy. About as useful as a screen door on a submarine, they are a shameful lot of rats, all of them.

Scooter Libby was found guilty of obstruction of justice in the Plame Gate case. Big Daddy Bush commuted his sentence and Florida land baron/mind control enthusiast Mel Sembler headed an effort to raise the money to pay for poor little Scooter’s fine. The media has taken a holiday since Bush said, “Bad Scooter! No! No!”

It was learned that 7/8ths of the Republican Party are closeted homosexuals.

Half of the Republican Party who is closeted couldn’t sneak a blowjob or two without getting caught. We learned that wide stance is an affliction suffered by flaming Idaho Mary’s who love to play footsie in airport shitters.

The DC Madam story broke open, then closed. The 1/8th of the Republican Party who isn’t a closeted homosexual seems to like sex with hookers more than their wives. I guess wives get a little touchy when their husband wants to dress up in a diaper like Louisiana Congressman David Vitter does. I wonder why?

Georgia Governor, Prince Sonny the First, declared war against invertebrates as mollusks and the Army Corps of Engineers faced his wrath. Sonny boy prayed for rain, sat on his ass and appeared as lucid and insightful as a drunken chimpanzee on the national news. Go, Sonny! You are a beacon for Georgia tourism, especially on a double bill with screenings of Deliverance. You make us seem so smart.


The US is still at war. We have always been at war. War brings peace and prosperity. War is…holy shit. What am I saying? $10 billion USD gets flushed down the toilet every week; along with arms, legs and eyes. General Dynamics, Lockheed, Haliburton, etc…get fatter and fatter.

The bloodthirsty vampires still want war with Iran, North Korea, Syria, China and Russia. That type of psychopath has always wanted war.

No end is in sight as the 110th Congress is afraid of the spin the vampires will use against them and God only knows they are afraid of losing that cushy DC job and their health care. Fucking douchebags.

The Economy:

Our economy is melting down faster than Britney Spears with a bottle of Zanax and a couple of jugs of Two Buck Chuck. Mortgage companies have gone tits up. Banks have gone tits up. Property values have gone tits up. Greenbacks have gone tits up. Gas is never going to sell for less than $2.80 again and $10 will get you a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk and a bottle of store brand aspirin and nothing else. Hot air is all that is keeping us afloat.

Conspiracy Theories:

April brought us the VaTech Massacre. This event was a major Black Op that pulled in many disciplines of Conspiracy Theory research; Mind Control experts, Assassin studies, Illuminatists, the Theocratic researchers. Everyone saw something in this event that made their eyes open wide and gasp. Even Lorne Coleman was able to write about it as copycats sprang up in places as interesting as NASA headquarters in Houston. This story will return in the future as some researcher will dig much deeper than any of us already have.

Tainted products – This is a story that is still with us. Beginning with poisoned dog food in the spring, we have had one horrifying story after another involving tainted food and consumer products imported from China. At one point the Chinese government official in charge of ensuring product safety was executed after it was learned that he had accepted bribes to look the other way. This story will follow us into 2008 and beyond as our food and product safety watch dog has been all but put to bed forever.

Youtube – There was no specific Conspiracy Theory associated with YouTube, it is interesting to take note at how this site has become front and center in an interesting way for this area of research. Black, white and gray propaganda can be found in all it’s forms with “user submitted” videos. We saw supposed UFO videos, viral marketing campaigns and now we are seeing alternate videos of the assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto. This is a site we should all take with a grain of salt and be wary of the authenticity of the short videos posted. Don’t assume a YouTube video is as it seems to be, just as you would do with Wikipedia.

Benazir Bhutto Assassination – This is a massive story and could become a history turning point. Bhutto wasn’t killed by simple minded and singularly focused Islamic extremists, as the media and the governments would have you think. Follow this story as it develops as this may very well be a high-water moment in the current direction of world events.

The American Police State – We started the year with indignation over the Atlanta Police Department storming the home of an elderly women, murdering her in cold blood, attempting to plant evidence and cover their tracks and we have ended it with sensory overload regarding the seemingly random use of the taser against innocent American citizens on an almost daily basis. The fire departments in America are being asked to spy on their fellow citizens. City leaders try to tell us how to dress in public and we have no more privacy. It is all gone…forever. Power that our government currently has will not be relinquished.


I’m waiting to hear reports that Braves announcer Skip Carey and the batboys for the Detroit Tigers are on performance enhancing drugs. In years past that would have meant beer for the announcer and Bazooka gum for the batboys. I don’t know if Clemens really did the juice or not but I have to say that I saw and heard Rog’s fastballs in late 1990 when he came back from arm problems, saw his decline through the 90’s and a mysterious return to form in the late 90's with a sudden pop, movement and velocity that he didn’t even have back in 1990. If that was the Flexall 454 I would be surprised.

Barry Bonds – All-Time Home Run King.

Barry Bonds – Indicted for perjury before a federal grand jury.

Barry Bonds – Waterhead.

Michael Vick will be able to enjoy his sabbatical in the federal pen by focusing his enormous brain on the problems associated with quantum mechanics, more specifically with issues surrounding the theory of quantum decoherence. He will, however, have to keep an eye out for an aggressive blitz by the welcome wagon who are looking at taking a blind side shot at his ass. The main question I have regarding Michael Vick’s possible return to the NFL is whether it is possible to scramble out of the pocket efficiently after 23 months of being forcefully poked in the butt with a (several?) penis? MV7, was it worth it to watch your dogs fight?

Formula 1 – A summation of the F1 season in one sentence: “There was a spy scandal, mind games between a rookie and the World Champion, overall craziness and a wild drunken Finn won the World Championship.” How was that for understatement? Major congratulations to Kimi and here’s hoping that 2008 is an even more exciting season. A big “Fuck You!” to Bernie Ecclestone for screwing the US fans out of the US Grand Prix.

That is the year that was. It almost is no more. What a year it has been and may the next be a little less stressful for all the average, workaday, Joes and Jills all around the world. We could use a break for a change, couldn’t we?

Happy New Year to you and yours and I hope you ALL have a very special year in 2008!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Babushka Lady, Umbrella Man and now we have Hatman

Two of the more curious visuals of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy have long since entered the realm of conspiracy theory folklore: The Babushka Lady and the Umbrella Man. The Bhutto assassination it seems has it’s own version of this visual. While no one has yet discussed it, if you look at the photos from her last minutes a man can be seen wearing a very strange, colorful hat.

I assume, and assuming is dangerous, that this man was a member of her security detail as he is seen in many of the photos taken immediately prior to the attack. Was the hat a "GO" sign in the operation to take her life? Was the hat a type of landmark to help guide the assassin to his target?

Of course I can't help but think of the late Robert Anton Wilson when I look at the above photograph. The open palm of Bhutto, that could be seen not as a hand wave, but instead as the Indian symbol of the departed. Wilson gave us Discordia and theories about the number 23 and how all things are connected if you simply look hard enough and are clever enough to find them. The license plate on the car in which Bhutto died was 7772. Seven plus seven plus seven plus two equals twenty three. I'm not saying that I am clever or looking very hard, only that Wilson was telling us to open our eyes and look around a bit at our world, question our perspective and consider what we see when we do this.

And so it goes...

More pics of "Hatman":

...and so the year ends.

We close out a year of terrible violence with an assassination. While I wish this could be a trend that is about to reverse I have suspicions that the opposite is about to happen. Another age of assassins is upon us. Another age of the CIA running wild on the planet is upon us. 2008 will be bloodier and more bold than 2007.

The lead up to the Bhutto assassination and the actual act, stink of CIA involvement from beginning to end. Many are deflecting the attention by pointing the finger of blame at “Islamic extremists” and by doing so are brushing aside centuries of Pakistani involvement with foreign intelligence, allegiances that are never set in stone and opportunistic grabs for money. It was never in the best interest of the powers that be, the current administrations of both Pakistan and America, the Military-Industrial Complex, the drug smuggling trade or the intelligence agencies to allow Bhutto a shot at becoming the leading politician of her nation.

It is a thinly veiled secret that the White House pushed the Bhutto situation down the throat of Musharraf and the Pakistan power base. They had great fear of her because of her populist agenda and her stated plans once she was re-elected as Prime minister. Had she been elected her plans were to attack every institution and operation that men like Musharraf and the US Intelligence Community make their living with. She was made cannon fodder by the White House and now the muckraker is gone. The script can continue as written.

Bhutto made no secret that she would declare open warfare on the Taliban and allow the US to enter Pakistan and begin rooting out Islamic extremists that have been given a safe haven in northern Pakistan. The safe haven that Musharraf created is the training and breeding ground for the pawns in the game of terrorism. Agencies like the CIA, MI6 and the ISI may fund, train and have a hand in terrorist groups but the rank and file soldiers are comprised of confused, angry young men who are turned into the suicide bombers and gunmen, looking for paradise promised to them by handlers trained by CIA men. Bhutto planned to shut off the fuel supply for a part of the IC machine.

The agency had much to gain from her death; Musharraf and his Persian cronies had much to gain. There is also the vague warning to Musharraf to not become a pain in the ass that wanders away from the script supplied by the US Intelligence Community. Noriega went off the script and is in a US prison. Saddam decided to become a free agent and he is dead. Bhutto is dead and if you don’t learn your lines and stick with them you’ll either wind up dead too or we will fund and woo the Generals who currently answer to you. Guatemala, Vietnam, Chile; all provide Musharraf with many examples of how the US Intelligence Community operate when the leash has been put away and after more than 6 years of the leash being removed, the agency is a well oiled machine now. Someone has hidden the lever that slows the machine, and the switch that kills the power to the machine was removed long ago.

Fifty years ago this sort of thing was happening in South America and on the fringes of Eastern Europe. The cold war was the driver for the coups and terror campaigns in the 50’s. Forty years ago this sort of thing was happening in Southeast Asia. The cold war was the pretext for the mayhem but big money and insatiable thirst for power was the driver. Thirty years ago the hangover began and the leash was applied to the Agency.

In 1978 and 79 the focus began to shift, a sea change was about to get underway. President Carter initiated an energy plan that was to have removed our dependence on Middle Eastern oil and a covert operation to combat the old Soviet Union was underway in Afghanistan. When Reagan was elected President and the former CIA chief with money, connections and power became Vice president, the gears were set into motion that has brought us to this day and age. Reagan gutted Carter’s energy plans, the CIA was sent out in the field with money to smuggle dope and guns and the death squads of Central America whetted the thirst for blood and torture. The Agency and the Reagan administration funded Saddam, Usama and the Mujahadeen with weapons and money bought and paid for with drug money earned from heroin and cocaine.

Today, the CIA, the powers that be, the Military-Industrial Complex, the real money makers of this world; are hip deep in Persia and Arabia, rampaging and playing games and having the time of their lives. Bhutto’s assassination is another power grab and chapter in the long history of the worlds most notorious and accomplished terror organization: the CIA.

Happy New Year.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Persian Poker or: What's the deal with this new NIE report?

If you play card games of any type you know there are three things that guide your strategy: 1) The cards you can see. 2) The odds for the cards you can’t see. 3) Understanding the habits and strategy of your opponent(s). There are a finite number of cards, a finite number of plays and a finite number of players in any card game. If you are playing with or against someone with whom you have played before, you know how they play the cards, the odds and how they play against or with you. Politics, of any sort, bear a close resemblance to card games, the only real differences being there are fewer rules in the polemic game but the stakes are much higher. The recent revelations regarding the NIE report on Iran’s nuclear programs have brought the card game analogy to my mind.

In the spring of 2005, NIE reports that trumpeted an increased determination and focus in Iran in regard to their nuclear programs. This led the Bush administration to apply heavier pressure and increase the rhetoric against Iran. Now the NIE is rescinding that assessment stating:

“"We judge with high confidence that in the fall of 2003, Tehran halted its nuclear weapons program." Furthermore, “Tehran’s decision to halt its nuclear weapons program suggests it is less determined to develop nuclear weapons than we have been judging since 2005." As well as, "Our assessment that Iran halted the program in 2003 primarily in response to international pressure indicates Tehran's decisions are guided by a cost-benefit approach rather than a rush to a weapon irrespective of the political, economic and military costs."

Taking the circumstances of this new NIE report at face value is a dangerous maneuver. To take them at face value is the equivalent of the US government directly telling the Iranian intelligence apparatus that at least two sources of intelligence have contradicted each other, and the results point directly to the source. Regardless of how the intelligence was gathered it would lead the Iranians to a strategy of back tracking their own steps to see what caused these two NIE report findings.

To take this at face value from the perspective of the Iranians would be equally dangerous. It would result in a change in their methods, a new emphasis on information security and would provide the US Intelligence Community with an opportunity to see the Iranian Intelligence Community hard at work. The best way to learn about your opponent’s methodology is to simply sit back and watch him work. Observation of the world is how we learn about the world.

We need to ask ourselves a few questions about this turn of events:

1) What are the specifics regarding the 2005 estimate that led the US government to overestimate the Iranian nuclear program?
2) What new intelligence brought to light the incorrect assessment from 2005?
3) What lessons can be learned about Iran’s strategy and tactics since they have sat back for the last two years, watching the US watch them, while knowing all along that the NIE report was wrong?
4) What lessons did Iran learn about the US Intelligence Community and it’s strategy and tactics over the last two years?
5) Did the Iranian IC manipulate the US IC into thinking it had an ongoing and active program underway? i.e. Did they give the US a red herring? What caused the US to finally realize it was a red herring?
6) Does looking at the white, black and gray propaganda from the last two years shed light into the inner workings of the Iranian and US IC?

With the exception of point number 6, details will certainly be hidden from the public. There is simply no chance in hell that this administration or any government agency would willingly tell the world the specifics of how it gathers, analyzes, disseminates and reacts to the intelligence it sifts through. Point number 6, the study of propaganda about the Iranian nuclear program(s), is one we can study.

In February of 2005, when threats of a US attack on Iran were high, Iran conducted a media campaign that threatened the use of asymmetrical warfare in the event of a US attack on it’s soil. This came only a matter of months after they conducted a massive war game exercise that increased tensions in the gulf, Washington and Tehran. The effect of this threat of guerrilla warfare stirred a series of op-ed pieces that threatened and warned American citizens that Iran has sleeper cells throughout the Persian Gulf and possibly here in America.

It also had the effect of contributing directly to two consecutive rises in the futures trading price for oil. At the end of 2001, with US forces on the ground in Afghanistan, the yearly average price for a barrel of oil was $23. At the end of 2002, when the war drums were beating heavily, the average price had dropped a little less than 1% to $22.81. At the end of 2003, with the US in Afghanistan and Iraq and the early drumbeats of war against Iran were beating, oil rose in price 21% and stood at $27.69. In 2004 oil rose another 36% to $37.66. By the end of 2005, with Washington rhetoric high and an Iranian “bring it on” style response to the Bush administration, oil had risen to $50.04, an increase of another 32%. In just 4 short years the price of oil had risen 117%.

I’m not saying that the NIE overestimate was done solely to boost oil company profits, after all the profits of every single defense contractor has also skyrocketed in this period of time as a direct result of waging two wars on two fronts, so there are other factors. Still, it cannot be overlooked that the increased uncertainty in that region that has driven the price of oil to incredible levels is directly tied to the instability created by both the incorrect NIE report and the unnecessary saber rattling by the Bush administration. This, in turn, has had an enormous and negative impact on the US economy and placed an even greater strain on the budgets of US citizens. In other words, the Bush administration has caused greater harm to the paychecks of Americans in this period of time than the government of Iran.

In this case, the white propaganda meted out by the Bush administration and it’s sycophants can be viewed as advancing the interests of the oil industry. Both the corporations and the government’s that profit on the production of oil benefited greatly by this white propaganda. The effect and the source of this propaganda cannot be overlooked.

A more recent series of events can be looked at as having a possible connection to this recent NIE report and it has a direct influence on the white and gray propaganda currently being spread regarding the situation in Pakistan. Is it possible that the sudden change in the NIE assessment of Iran’s nuclear status has less to do with Iran and everything to do with the evolving situation in Pakistan?

In August of 2005, when the initial wave of propaganda swept out from the NIE report that stirred this hornet’s nest, the IAEA released a widely under-reported piece of news. Their inspections uncovered a key piece of evidence regarding the Iranian bomb-making program. Their tests showed that the enriched uranium particles found on Iranian equipment came not from Iran, but from Pakistan. Pakistan is where this equipment was illegally imported from, all in secret.

Now, we all know that Pakistan has the bomb and we can safely assume that their nuclear program now consists primarily of making more bombs, designing higher yield bombs and honing strategies for future use of those weapons in time of war. The problem in Pakistan in regards to it’s nuclear secrets has been directly tied to Abdul Khan, the government official and nuclear scientist who admitted in 2004 to selling nuclear technology to Iran, Libya and North Korea and was exposed in 2003. Iran bought this equipment from Khan in secret and there has been no dispute over that sale.

Recent events in Pakistan have given us the return of Bhutto, assassination attempts on her life, major abuses of freedom following Musharraf’s crackdowns and we have the threat of a nuclear power losing control of it’s weapons due to political turmoil. This could also lead to the release of more information regarding Abdul and his connections if the political conditions deteriorate further. Considering the probability that Abdul operated within the full knowledge and light of the major Intelligence Communities of the world, the last thing the US and other governments need is the threat of their secrets in this arena being exposed.

These pieces of information and the evolving nature of Pakistan’s power base and connections are interesting when placed against the backdrop of her history and the direct connections she has had with the underworld of smuggling, covert operations and varying loyalties based on financial considerations. Pakistan held a vital place in the British East India Company’s holdings with the production of opium and the illegal smuggling of opium into China during the Opium Wars. The great fortunes of the leaders in international finance today were based on the fortunes gained by the opium smuggling trade. CitiGroup, ING, HSBC and others own the booty that was gained as Bostonian smugglers and well-heeled Englishmen plundered the wealth of China and addicted a full quarter of her male population 200 years ago. Pakistan was the proving grounds and classroom for the CIA’s future drug smuggling schemes.

The US/Pakistan relationship has been hot and cold since it’s formation in 1947. The 50’s, 80’s and this first decade of the 21st century have placed them in close contact and with a location that provides perfect base of operations for covert operations, it is not difficult to see Pakistan being a covert ally to various components of the US Intelligence Community even in the worst of times.

Which leads me back to the possibility that the reason for the new NIE report being tied somehow to events in Pakistan. If there is fear that the US/Pakistan relationship will sour, and very soon at that; and concerns that Pakistan is on the verge of collapse, would it not make sense to downgrade the trumped up assessment of Iran to ensure that any change in the status of Pakistan does not expose more than the Bush administration wishes to be known?

All of this, of course, is speculation. However, it is most curious that the only major development in world politics of great significance in the months prior to this reversal is the turmoil and upheaval in Pakistan. What cards does Bhutto hold, is Musharraf bluffing or will he be forced to fold? Has Iran been playing it straight all this time simply to see how the others at the table are showing their hand? One thing is certain; this administration has the worst poker face ever seen. They bluff when they should fold, raise when they only have a pair of twos, they fold with a king high full house and Bush can’t even do an overhand shuffle without the cards flying all over the table.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Presidential Bathing Beauties -- Round Two -- Dried up fruits and nuts

Candidate Gravel relaxes on the outdoor chaise lounge as candidate Tancredo attempts to "witness" before him.
This round of Presidential Bathing Beauties features Mike Gravel (D) and Tom Tancredo (R).
Who - Candidate Mike Gravel
Qualifications – Former Alaska state representative and US Senator for 12 years, left the Senate in ’81.
Platform – Would get all US troops out of Iraq within 120 days of taking office. Advocate of diplomatic approach to Syria and Iran. Wants to abolish the IRS and move to a national sales tax on goods and service and source carbon taxes for sources of air pollution. For the guest worker program, against the “war on drugs”.
What’s the deal? – Gravel is the clich├ęd “crazy old uncle” who shows up in the movies to add charm and humor to family get-togethers during the holidays. He’s cranky, funny, out on a limb and doesn’t suffer fools gladly.

What in the hell sparked this man to run for the highest office in the land after being away from public service since 1981? Was it anger at the direction of this country? Was it a final and all consuming desire to try to save the country? Out of the blue he came and he’s been quite an interesting candidate, especially in the debates where the man lays down napalm on the podium and for the most part speaks the mind of the “average man”.
Trivia – Served in the Army Counter Intelligence Corp (1951-55) and has dyslexia. Couldn’t make that one up. Inserted over 4,000 pages of the famous “Pentagon Papers” into the Congressional Record.
Bathing Beauty Quals – None, absolutely none. This makes him the perfect candidate if the system was torn down and we were to rebuild from the ground up but fat chance in hell that is going to happen.
Can he get the nomination? – Only if he chooses me to be his running mate.
Can he become PotUS 44? – Not if he does choose me to be his running mate.
Conspiracy Theories? – The man is pretty steeped in 1960’s politics and seems to have an open mind at the ripe young age of 77. Chances are he would be able to talk a lot about events of the 60’s and how they tie in with the study of conspiracy theories. His experiences in the Intelligence Community would undoubtedly be an eye-opening subject were it broached, especially in light that he served in West Germany. I think he would be a fantastic interview subject on the Military-Industrial Complex.
Who – Candidate Tom Tancredo.
Qualifications – Colorado State Legislator, US Congress since 1999. Loves Jesus.
Platform – Hates abortion, loves Jesus. Hates rich people getting taxed, loves Jesus. Hates judges that “legislate from the bench”, loves Jesus. Hates lawsuits against medical malpractice, loves Jesus. Loves Jesus, hates atheist commie peaceniks that want us out of Iraq. Loves guns, loves Jesus. Did I mention he LOVES the Jesus?
What’s the deal? – He drank the Jesus Juice because it’s more holy than Kool Aid. Will say anything that he hopes and prays will get him into office. Hates government so very much that he wants to be a civil servant and continue to be a civil servant. Hates socialized health care so much that he’s willing to bring small business into the mix since illegal immigrants are the cause of all our health care woes, but he loves the health care plan that Congress has.
This man is so shameless in his pandering to the ignorant and sore of knees from praying that if someone told him he would win the office if he would only recreate the Passion Play, with real nails, in the Washington Mall, he’d ask, “Ten penny nails or spikes?”
Trivia – Tancredo was a College Republican who spoke publicly in support of the war in Vietnam, but told the draft classification Doctors that he had been “treated for depression”. He got a 1-Y deferment for his efforts and took a job teaching junior high school immediately afterward. I wonder if Tom thought Jesus would say he was depressed too?
Bathing Beauty Quals – Wants to bomb the hell out of Mecca because that’s what Jesus would do and God knows that Tom loves Jesus. Over-compensates for his shame at being a hawk in his head and a coward in his heart and inability to come to terms with that disparity by wanting to bomb the holy living fuck out of anyone who isn't as WASPy as he is.
Can he get the nomination? – Only if Jesus REALLY loves him.
Can he become PotUS 44? – Only if Jesus REALLY hates us.
Conspiracy Theories? – A full-blown, right wing, paranoid, Jesus freak; Tancredo’s head must be as full of conspiracy theory’s as a snakes den is full of the heebie jeebies. I peg Tancredo as a neo-anti-communist nut who still thinks the word “hippies” apply to any draft dodger who doesn’t stare back from his own mirror?
Most likely consults the seminal work of anti-communist conspiracy buffs, “None Dare Call It Conspiracy” to this very day, looking for new angles on how those Godless Ruskies are still plotting to overthrow the US from within, just like that Godless Karl Marx said.
Summary – Fruits and nuts; that sums these two. Gravel being the old nut and Tancredo being the old fruit. No one can hate “teh ghey” like Tancredo does without feeling shame for a pecker or two that he might have sucked in his early hormonal days of adolescence, and not act like he does. Fruits and nuts are great in a bowl of cold cereal, not so great in positions of enormous power.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Presidential Bathing Beauties -- Round 1 -- The wide hips candidates.

Presidential Bathing Beauty hopefuls Duncan Hunter (R) and Chris Dodd (D) enjoying the view.

Who - Candidate Duncan Hunter

Qualifications – He’s a lawyer and has been in the House of Representatives since 1981.

Platform – Wants to amend the Constitution to define “personhood” at the moment of conception and make an amendment to define marriage as being between man and woman only. Believes in slashing taxes, slashing budgets (except DoD related budgets) and making sure the NEA doesn’t get a penny. Wants to build more border fencing, create a national employment verification system and reform birth right citizenship.

What’s the deal? – Seems to be parroting some of the neo-con and traditional GOP talking points (War on Terror, gays – bad / pro life - good) but appears to buck the trend on trade (one way street analogy). Right wing extremist “pundits” Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham and Michelle Malkin lust for him in that polemic sort of way. What a crazy 4 way that would make.

One of the things that has all but destroyed American manufacturing and crippled the financial prospects for the lower-middle class and working class in this country, is NAFTA. I give big props to Rep. Hunter for taking an anti-NAFTA stance. In the close bond between big business and big government, this is a stance that I understand can be a relationship killer for a politician.
In the shattered world of defining political leanings, Rep. Hunter is being labeled a “conservative” Republican vs. a “liberal” Republican (Giulliani, Huckabee). I just see him as being a cross between a Goldwater conservative (fiscal, trade), a Reagan Conservative (social, military) and a Moral Majority conservative (right to life, anti-gay). In other words, he’s a Gumbo Republican.

Trivia – Served in Vietnam for the 75th Ranger Regiment, 173rd Airborne as a First Louie, not a ring tapper either.

Bathing Beauty Quals – Give Pat Buchanan a Valium, or give 4 Valiums to Ron Paul, and you have summed up his Bathing Beaty qualifications. He can’t seem to express passion and serious ideas because he cannot elicit passion and seriousness. Good intentions, some good ideas but something seems “off” in his delivery. I have a feeling that if you sat with him, off the record and talked about issues he would be able to express, one-on-one what he believes in. I believe you could disagree with him and the discussion wouldn’t teeter from a wedge due to the differences.

Can he get the nomination? – Only if Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham and Michelle Malkin do a 3 way lez fest on pay-per view to raise campaign money.

Can he become PotUS 44? – Not if Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham and Michelle Malkin do a 3 way lez fest on pay-per view to raise campaign money.

Conspiracy Theories? – If you sat down with him, off the record, I have a feeling he would give you the blank stare if you asked his thoughts about conspiracy theories. I think he knows about them in a general sense, meaning he thinks they are kooky and theorists are kooks. “Next question.” Would be his response.

Who – Candidate Chris Dodd

Qualifications – A Lawyer and has served Congress since his election to the House of Representatives in 1975 and the Senate in 1980. 32 years in DC…holy Jesus, Dodd.

Platform – Parrots the end the war in Iraq line, but doesn’t define where troops will be “redeployed”. Talks the talk on energy but only offers tax incentives for consumers to buy new energy efficient cars. How about the working poor, for whom buying a Prius just isn’t an option? Follows the standard Roosevelt and Great Society beliefs on social issues.

What’s the deal? – Dodd is one of those unknown factors. He talks the talk on a lot of issues but his total number of years inside the Beltway seems to have worn off on him like it has John McCain. I think Dodd is politically savy and knows what lingo to throw out there. I just don’t think he can walk the walk, be a ball buster when it’s needed or pull people together when he needs to.

– 2nd generation Senator, his father was one of the prosecutors at the Nuremburg War Crimes Tribunal. Spent two years in the Peace Corp and six years in the Army Reserves and National Guard.

Bathing Beauty Quals – If this were the Miss America pageant, Dodd would be a 1940’s version of Miss Idaho or North Dakota; personable and nice and likable but not a lot of beauty or substance or depth. He’s a wide hips sorta politician. He chose a role (stereotypical social cause Democrat) and stuck with it instead of being a visionary. It’s a shame because with his background he could have easily become one.

Can he get the nomination?
– Sure, if the rest of the Democrats jump out of the race.

Can he become PotUS 44? – Sure, if he runs un-opposed…across the board.

Conspiracy Theories? – I have a feeling if you sat down with him in a cabin out in the boonies of Connecticut and a case of beer, he’d laugh it up for a while with you. If there are any conspiracy theories that Dodd might have a thought over it would be the JFK assassination. I doubt if he would follow a single theory belief in the JFK assassination, he probably just believes “someone” was behind it all.

Summary - Bet good money on Dodd to spend another 3 decades in Congress. Bet good money on Hunter getting uber rich on a lobbyist salary when he decides it's time to call all those favors back home when he leaves office. Don't bet a penny that either man will have a shot in hell at becoming the next President...thank God for small miracles.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Viral marketing and propaganda -- The Cloverfield campaign

The upcoming release of the film Cloverfield has provided me with a fun distraction of late. The back-story that apparently is included with the film is interesting and deep, there is mystery surrounding the entire project and driving the online chatter about the film is a series of websites that are directly connected to main and subplots of the story. Following the story online we have the chance to see the present day in a past tense manner. It is also a chance to see a well-tuned online viral marketing campaign in action.

Viral marketing interests me because it works by exploiting social networking and the desire of people to conform and follow what is popular. It is a method of social control even if the goal is to simply make millions of dollars on a movie. The thing that fascinates me the most about these campaigns is that many people will still follow the marketing script even if they know for a fact that it is a manufactured process. When government propaganda is exposed for what it really is, the effect upon the citizenry is opposite; they feel duped and begin to swing their beliefs in the opposite direction. I often wonder if that point of critically, the point where citizens turn against the propaganda fed to them, has also been engineered. In this day and age, there is very little difference in the methodology between creating and waging a viral marketing campaign to advertise a movie, and creating and waging government sponsored propaganda to advertise going to war. The only real difference is the subject matter.

Viral marketing relies on people disseminating information about the product to people within their social network. Propaganda relies on the citizenry discussing the points of the propaganda with people within their social network as well. Viral marketing relies on peer pressure to help sell their product to people within the network because they want to fit in. Propaganda relies on citizens not questioning the “right” nature of what the propaganda sells by threat of ostracization from American society and the dreaded taunt of treason being thrown around.

When I was growing up this was simply called a fad. That is probably what it was called when you were in your teenage years. Clothing, music, language and pop culture tastes were determined by the sine wave of fads. Now, the medium for disseminating information has changed and we have the Internet and text messaging to speed the process and make it all encompassing. 23 years ago all it took was one Bruce Springsteen video and everybody simply had to have a jean jacket. Even then it still had no effect on people living in the suburbs and rural America, people who had no access to cable TV. Now, even my Mother can surf the web and she does indeed surf, even if it is only a dialup account.

The term viral marketing is itself a new term. First coined in 1996 by a Harvard Business School professor, it’s roots lie with media critic Douglas Rushkoff who wrote about advertisers infecting susceptible users and spreading the infection among other users. The spread could be charted long before the actual “infection” took place by using statistical analysis and the entire process could be tweaked for maximum effect by the marketer, even as the campaign was being run. Our self-awareness, or rather, the awareness of us by marketers and advertisers, is astounding.

Of course the irony of this posting is that I may be contributing to the viral marketing process by advertising the film and giving my reasons for wanting to follow the campaign. In effect, I could be feeding the beast intentionally. Then again, some unknowing traveler in cyberspace may see this posting and become enlightened to the interconnection of marketing campaigns and propaganda. Who knows?

Will I be a big fat hypocrite and see the movie? Probably. I have had a life-long love of horror movies featuring giants that goes back to my days of watching Shock Theater on WTVC in Chattanooga. I saw all of the giant monster movies on that show; King Kong, Son of Kong, The Mighty Joe Young. It Came From Beneath The Sea, Konga and all the Godzilla movies. I even remember seeing The Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman and feeling that pre-pubescent attraction to actress Allison Hayes in the title role. Talk about great legs. I even use my old VCR from time to time just so I can watch War Of The Gargantuas.

I’m also a big time sucker for any movie or book that requires in-depth study of specially written and complex encyclopedias and bibles to follow the back-story. I often wonder if this is the prime reason why I follow conspiracy theories and the high weirdness subjects. There are tons of back-story in them to sift through and in the end there is a monster to face.

Monday, November 26, 2007

The downtown connector is no place for scaredy cats

I’ve always felt a particular pain for folks driving through Atlanta for that yearly visit to Granny’s house at Thanksgiving time. This city is full of psychotic drivers on even the least traffic heavy days, and when Thanksgiving rolls around a large chunk of the population flies back home to whatever city they are originally from, leaving the remainders with a less congested road and the muscle memory for driving like a loon. The things these travellers must think became painfully obvious on Saturday night as a family of Floridians tried to navigate the Brookwood interchange while it was plugged from an accident and the Battle of Georgia was being waged nearby on the Georgia Tech campus. I had a front row seat to it.

After the Thanksgiving visit with my family I came back to town since I had to work on Friday. All weekend I had the opportunity to see out of state plates and Georgia tags bearing the county names for places far flung to the four corners of the state. Seeing those folks drive on Atlanta roads and the Interstate roadways was painful and eye opening, as always. The old saying is “country come to town” and I can get away with saying it because of my hillbilly roots.

They are easy to spot. Just look for the center lanes and there they are, puttering along at the speed limit or just below the limit and as you pass you can look over and see the absolute fear in their eyes, both hands tightly gripping the steering wheel. Why they stick to the center lanes was a mystery to me for years until I finally figured it out. Normally the center lanes here are a DMZ of sorts. It’s the no-man’s land where one will normally see wrecks originate. The slower drivers should be in the far right lane but I think these folks are scared that right lane will become a turn only lane and they won’t be able to merge back into a left lane, so they would be forced to take the off ramp in some unfamiliar area. I wonder if they are terrified thinking that waiting at the end of every off ramp is a pack of 2 dozen crazed city folk, high on crack or God knows what; just waiting to pick off the easy prey.

So, on they drive, in the middle lane with folks passing them at speeds higher than the pace car for the Indy 500. Everyone blasts by them and sometimes they will cut right in front of them as a way of telling them to get the hell out of the middle lane. The looks on their faces as they near the downtown connector is one of panic and pure primal fear and I got to see one first hand on Saturday night.

I was up in the Marietta area late in the day and decided to come home via 75 and then on to 85 north at the downtown connector. I had the Georgia v. Georgia Tech game on the radio and as I neared the city the traffic update signs warned of the 4 left lanes being blocked by an accident at 10th St. I continued on and thought it would just give me more time to enjoy the game on the radio. Just below Northside Drive the traffic turned into a parking lot and we crept up to the north side of the Brookwood split.

At the exit ramp for 85 north some poor soul was completely lost and freaked by the mass of humanity as he tried to go from the HOV lane to the main body of traffic. I suppose he thought the HOV would take him and his family off course from I-75. When Georgia scored as Southerland ran it in near the end of the 3rd quarter, Bulldog Nation was well represented in the traffic jam and all of us were easy to spot. We began honking our horns and flashing our lights, hands and arms flailing and pumping in the air. The poor bastard with his family in the minivan in front of us was freaked beyond limit. He had no idea what had transpired, the family was convinced the display was anger being pointed at them for blocking two lanes of traffic.

I’m not talking about run of the mill freaked in this case, it was obvious that the whole scenario was freaking out the kids in the backseat too because they were bawling like they had just woke up on Christmas morning with huge lumps of coal to greet them and no toys. It was hitching sobs time from the backseat of “young uns” and Dad was sawing at the wheel, looking like he was going to blow a gasket with everyone honking and flashing their lights at him…or so he thought. The wife was in full-blown panic mode and after years of reading the lips of baseball players I could see she was mouthing the words, “Oh dear Jesus! Roy! They’re gonna kill us all!” Little did Dad and Mom and the tykes know that the lights and horns were for a touchdown that had just happened only a mile or so away in the spacious bowl that is Bobby Dodd Stadium.

It was easy to feel bad for them for having such a terrifying moment on their way back home to someplace in Florida. It was also quite funny to see a carload of Floridians so petrified at the experience. I will guarantee you that someplace down in Florida; a family who owns a white Dodge minivan complete with the LCD screen for the kiddos in the backseat is telling everyone about the nightmare that is Atlanta. “Those people in Atlanta are out of their damned minds! We almost got killed in a traffic jam and ALL of them were flashing their lights at us, honking their horns and waving their arms. I wouldn’t live in that dump for all the money in the world!”

Helpful advice for those travelling through Atlanta for vacation, business or moving: Stay to the right, and above all, don’t panic.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Even a cynic like me can be grateful.

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I thought I’d put up a list of things I truly am grateful for this year. I bitch and moan a lot but this really is a holiday where reflection, contemplation and appreciation are worthwhile, especially these days when there is much to be unhappy about.

I am grateful that my older relatives are somewhat healthy and still alive to enjoy the holiday for another year. As I age I appreciate family more and more.

I am grateful that we have no one in our family serving in the military and away from home and in danger. I hope I will have been the last member of our family to have worn the uniform. It’s an honorable profession but commanded by un-honorable politicians.

I am grateful for my health, which even though it is not as good as it was in even recent years is still not serious enough to cause hourly concern on my part.

I am grateful to have a job.

I am grateful I have a simple little place to live that I call home. I am grateful that it feels like home as well.

I am grateful for the small group of men and women whom I call friends. The fewer the number the stronger the bond.

I am grateful to have the lessons of my late Grandmother, still in my thoughts. Every year I learn more and more about how to live life by contemplating her example and words of wisdom.

I am grateful to have such warm and happy memories of my late Grandfather, who I loved like a real father. I still feel a great deal of guilt for not being more like him, but I feel proud to know that I try to live up to his example. I hope he’s thinking that I am doing okay with my life.

I am grateful to have known my girlfriend’s Father before he passed away. One of the most interesting men I have ever known, he had adventures in life and I feel we had a short bond. Even though I wish I could have known him longer and better I am still grateful that he let me into his life.

I am grateful to be able to maintain a “to be read” stack of books and the desire to read them all and add to them.

I am grateful to have a girlfriend like I have. I fully understand that.

I’m grateful to know that I have one more day, one more Thanksgiving, to be with my family and talk with them. I can’t wait to hear my Uncle’s stories and get his tips on life. I can’t wait to hear my Aunt talking about food and recipes. I can’t wait to see my cousin and hear how he is doing and talk about the old days with him. I can’t wait to give my Mom a big bear hug and say the words I’ve said for years, “Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.”

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Signs on the road, sign of the times.

My trip to and from work every day takes me through quite a few contrasting areas and neighborhoods. I start out in the residential area just north of the Decatur city limits; work my way past Lavista, I-85, Buford Highway and Peachtree Street. I head north through the tawny and wealthy neighborhoods of Buckhead and cruise up to the north end of the perimeter where I hop on 400 north and feel the adrenaline rush of driving with the hogs of the road until I am finally able to escape the high speed and substitute it with the stop and go of a red light every 100 yards in Alpharetta. The path is flipped around in the late afternoon for the gas burn home. I have alternate routes for when the traffic plugs due to a wreck or water main break or God knows what.

The trip is interesting in the morning as I can cruise very well and make it through many red lights before I finally have to stop. I can see the neighborhoods as I pass and get a look at my surroundings for a little while. The OCD aspect of my personality is best suited for the drive as I count things while I drive. A trick to pass time that I picked up years ago when I would drive home to visit family when I was on leave in the Navy. I count red lights, mileage, elapsed time and a wide range of other things. If I run out of obvious things to count I’ll turn my attention to car makes, models and colors.

The other week I found myself counting For Sale and For Rent signs along the side of the road. I tallied 25 homes for sale and 7 for rent. Of the 25 homes listed for sale, 16 of them were in the upscale Buckhead neighborhoods. This didn’t include the numerous condo projects that are still being built and the ones that have recently been completed. 16 multi-million-dollar homes for sale just between Peachtree Street and Pill Hill on the northside, and this was seen on one road, Peachtree-Dunwoody. Think about that for a minute, I’ll come back to it.

When financial “bubbles” burst, they do one of two things: 1) A sudden and widespread deflation. 2) A slow and prolonged leak. The mortgage crisis is a bubble that leaks like the latter, it’s a slow and drawn out process. The highest number of sub-prime loans that had a reset has just come and gone. October was the month that saw the highest number of interest rate resets. The fall out from those resets will not be seen for quite a while. The folks who have already been caught up in the crisis were those who got on the bandwagon early. The ones who jumped on while it was in full swing are just now being pulled through the wringer.

As I drove north on Peachtree-Dunwoody that morning and caught myself admiring the many older, more lovely homes I noticed that it was the newer infill style McMansions that had the for sale signs and very few of the older homes were for sale. I thought about the millions of dollars spent to buy the land, paying crews to tear down the old homes and build the new houses. I thought about what some of those places will look like after they have sat vacant for months. I thought of the stories we are hearing out of Cleveland and the Slavic Village neighborhood.

Slavic Village, for those not familiar, is an old, established neighborhood in Cleveland that was settled by European immigrants starting back in the 1800’s. It has been the most severely effected neighborhood in the entire nation, by this mortgage crisis. The last figure I saw stated that about 800 homes are vacant in this area and the director of a foreclosure prevention center in Cuyahoga County stated that it takes approximately 72 hours after a home is vacated before the looters break in. The looters are stealing recyclable materials such as copper and aluminum.

I don’t think this would happen in Buckhead as there is too much concentrated wealth and power living there to allow it to happen and I don’t think “white flight” is going to be an issue like Detroit saw decades ago. The housing trend in Atlanta has reversed in recent years with more people moving back inside the perimeter. Still, the thought of massive McMansions sitting vacant all through this upscale and power laden neighborhood is chilling.

Reports across the board show that the worst is still yet to come. An analogy would be that what we see now is simply the salad being brought to the dining table and the main course is only now being put in the oven. We are being bitten by commodity inflation and a trip to get groceries carries it’s own sticker shock. The earned wages of Americans have not kept pace with inflation over the last 6 years and now we are in a spot where the dollars is breaking records on an almost daily basis for all-time lows in value. Money doesn’t stretch because it is becoming worthless. Where will this end?

Like those homes in Buckhead, there are people who have massive personal wealth, the sort who can survive this economic slide with no problem. There are also people who are on the periphery and barely making it, even in the higher income brackets and even in those tawny neighborhoods. We, like our nation as an entity, are getting close to the breaking point. How much longer it will last before the rubber band snaps is beyond my knowledge. The fallout is going to be massive and it doesn’t take an economist to see that.

All any of us can do is hold on and wait to see when the other shoe drops.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Back to the grind

Yes, I am back and thinking about the future while dressed as sharply as the gentleman to the left.

I’m almost unpacked and I’m settling into the new digs. The neighbors are quiet and the new place is comfy. The only drawback so far is the commute to and from work, which has lengthened a great deal. I still have some organizing to do and I haven’t even hung my pictures and paintings but things are falling into place rather nicely. As an extra advantage, the layout of the new place looks more “homey” and inviting than my old place. My Victrola and most of my furniture never really seemed to “fit in” at my old apartment, now they all look more natural and organic in the new place. I feel more comfortable now.

There has been an added bonus to the whole move process that I didn’t expect. Before the move I was feeling a bit more eager and motivated to write longer essay style postings for the blog. I’ve fallen away from that in recent months. I will be returning to the format I was using last spring of longer posts interspersed with the short, reactionary postings on current events. I’m mulling some ideas on topics to write about but you can expect a more structured flow to the subjects and content. Politics plays a massive role in Conspiracy Theory but I feel that I have strayed a bit into Political Commentator territory and I don’t want this to be a political-centric blog.

I know that saying that seems a bit at odds with my last posting but I just couldn’t pass up one more chance at getting a dig on the Governor. I also recognize that my response, and the response so many people have these days in regards to politics, is so negative and derogatory because there is an aspect to the world of politics that veils the activities of those who hold positions of power. If you divide the electorate and foster the reactionary feelings they have in troubled times, the less likely they are to notice the shenanigans being pulled behind the velvet curtain of government. This is the essence of so many of the Conspiracy Theory and High Weirdness subjects; there is an undercurrent in our lives and our world. To hide this undercurrent it is sometimes best to create a ruse, a controversy or fear that consumes the public and provides cover for the activities best suited for darkness.

I am also looking at digging into my old news clipping archives for some inspiration and subject material. There is a wealth of information and source material to go over and it has been quite some time since I dug into those with gusto. Keep an eye out for more frequent and in-depth postings as I sort through these things and get back into the groove of writing. I may make some non-CT related posts over the next week just to get my brain and fingers back into gear.

Item #1 on the Sonny-Do list -- Pray that the Razorbacks whup the Vols.

For years I thought we Georgians would never see a Governor as lazy as Joe Frank Harris. Governor Harris, while intending to do good things, couldn’t have gotten less done during his tenure in office even if he had slept 23 hours a day. Yes, his education reforms were positive at the time and we have the Georgia Dome, but that’s about it for Governor Harris’ legacy. Now we have a real malingerer residing in the Governor’s Mansion. Sonny Purdue’s mastery of laziness is so powerful that when I recently drove down West Paces Ferry Road, I had to pull into the shopping center at the intersection of Northside Drive and take a nap. It's as though simple geographic proximity to the Governor will induce a deep state of lazy bones.

Other than trying to sue the living shit out of the Army Corp of Engineers and giving us an idea of how high the IQ’s of the Governor’s of Alabama and Florida really are when compared to his, Sonny has done little more of late than schlump his way through a prayer vigil for rain. Instead of action and leadership, Sonny will bow his head and pray for rain. I guess it’s easier for him to ask God for rain than it is for him to lead the state through this crisis. Now don’t get me wrong, I may be a member of the Church of No Permanent Abode but I do have faith and I am not mocking prayer or believers. The thought of our Governor wasting his time in a glad-handing public display rather than addressing the problem and making hard choices is just too ripe for me to pass up.

If we get a big gulley washer and the reservoirs all over the southeast fill to the brim, does this mean Sonny has favored son status with the Almighty? If that is the case, why did Sonny wait so long before he prayed for rain? If the prayer thing backfires and the drought worsens, does this mean Sonny is on God’s bad side? Should the Governor pray for something more attainable? For instance, how about a loss by Tennessee this weekend and a UGA win over Auburn? Can he get more mileage by praying that McKay and Blank can shore up the offensive line?

I’ll be praying today. I won’t be praying for rain, I’ll be praying that these stupid elected officials like Sonny Perdue don’t flush the damn toilet that this country is sitting in. I’ll pray to see a PSA on TV, with a brown and sun scorched lawn in front of the Governor’s Mansion and our bald headed, chubby boy named Sonny telling all Georgians that we have to rethink how we use this finite and precious resource known as water. I’ll pray that Bonaire’s favorite son will not embarrass us more than he already has.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Was moving as difficult for Uncle Jed as it is for me?

No new posts will appear for a few weeks. I'm in the middle of moving and will be back with new posts after I am settled in at the new place. Asprin, Wild Turkey and good humor are what I am living on right now. All three are becoming short in supply.
Good thoughts go out to all in southern California.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Why do mollusks hate our freedoms?

Par for the course, the 100-year drought and looming water catastrophe for the metropolitan Atlanta area, is turning into a political mud fling (no pun intended). They did this and they did that, they said this and they said that. That’s the cream that is rising to the top. Meanwhile, Lake Lanier is dropping 1.7 inches per day. Rains are forecast for tonight, Thursday and Friday so we shall see if a drop of cool water will fall on us.

All day I face the barren waste without the taste of water,
Cool water.
Old Dan and I with throats burned dry and souls that cry for water,
Cool water.

Sons of the Pioneers, Cool Water, verse 1

This problem has been brewing for years, long before I was born and possibly before you were born. The problem can be read about in James Dickey’s novel Deliverance, it can be seen in the distinct shift in Georgia politics since the flawed Governorship of Joe Frank Harris and it can be told when you talk with a person who lives in Georgia regardless of what town or city they live in regardless if they are native or transplant. The problem, to be blunt, is hatred, hurt feelings and selfishness. We are all to blame, native Georgian and Yankee transplant living in Buckhead. All of us are to blame and no one wants to tell the truth about it. I am to blame as well as I have been apathetic to the fights even though I do not waste water.

The story should really start back in the post-war days of the mid and late 1940’s. The south as a whole was still in the process of coping with being an agrarian society that was converting to an industrialized society. The major cities of the south such as Atlanta, Birmingham, New Orleans, were all growing and basic resources were needed. Birmingham, along with Chattanooga, were the great industrial cities of the south, with steel being king. TVA was creating electricity for every type of manufacturing plant you can think of, and the horrendous flooding of the Tennessee River was a long ago trouble that only your Granny remembered well. Atlanta and New Orleans at one time fought backroom deals and pulled every old boy that could be found into the network to get the Federal Reserve Bank. Atlanta eventually won and got the bank but the bad feelings from the fight are still felt.

The night are cool and I'm a fool each stars a pool of water,
Cool water.
But with the dawn I'll wake and yawn and carry on to water,
Cool water.

Sons of the Pioneers, Cool Water, verse 2

Atlanta’s future growth was tied to two things, water and electricity. Atlanta was out of the TVA grid so Georgia Power was tasked with ramping up projects to make more electricity. Water could be provided through a reservoir system, which could also have the side benefits of creating hydroelectric power and provide a new middle-class with recreational facilities. Land was surveyed, families were chased away and before the 60’s arrived, Atlanta had a reliable water supply and power generating capabilities that would last for decades of growth before new plants needed to come online.

Quite literally, Atlanta had positioned itself as a city with growing room. The city had the utilities in place to support the massive population of today long before it even had a million residents or before the Interstate Highway System had snaked it’s way through the city. City leaders, businessmen and politicians recognized this early on and the big push was on. The catchy slogan came out, Southern Bell ran more and more wire out into what was then known as the suburbs and under the gold dome of the state capitol more and more funds were shipped to the metropolitan Atlanta area for projects tied to economic growth.

Keep a movin' Dan, don't you listen to him Dan,
he's a devil not a manand he spreads the burnin' sand with water.
Dan can't you see that big green tree where the waters runnin' freeand it's waiting there for me and you.
Water, cool water.

Sons of the Pioneers, Cool Water, chorus

The construction of the I-285 perimeter roadway is the embodiment of what Georgians have felt for generations. There are two Georgia’s, one in the city of Atlanta (Inside the Perimeter, or ITP for short) and one that comprises the rest of the state (Outside the Perimeter, or OTP for short). Old festering grudges have built up over the years. It has been “our way vs. their way” on both sides of 285 for a very long time and the resentment for a long line of real or believed slights has deepened.

In the meantime growth in Atlanta has skyrocketed beyond what anyone had envisioned. The city’s infrastructure is unable to handle the load. In some areas such as the storm water and sewerage systems, the advanced age and condition has been known about for decades but has only been addressed in recent years but is still not fixed. The land use issues have escalated between landowners and local/state regulators. The claims of overbearing laws and regulations are shouted whenever a developer is not allowed to completely cover acres of land or a homeowner is fined for cutting down trees. When real estate developers are told they cannot create massive infill housing in older, established neighborhoods they claim interference from government bureaucracy.

Whenever the serious problems have been discussed and brought out into the open the old and tired chants were given once the cost of fixing the problems was told. "We are taxed to death! We can't keep paying OUR hard earned cash to keep that city afloat." "Why should Georgians pay for Atlanta's luxuries. If they need to fix their system, let them pay for it." "Why should I not have control over my own future and give Atlanta the control over my business, my residential area and my zoning laws?" "No wonder Atlanta has so many problems, it's run by nothing but blacks. Whites moved out to the suburbs in the 60's and 70's and those cities are growing nicely." Yes, we have heard it all and they have said it all. It's the same old excuses, the same old stories and the same old lines they have been saying for more than 5 decades.

The shadows sway and seem to say tonight we pray for water,
Cool water.
And way up there He'll hear our prayer and show us where there's water,
Cool Water.

Sons of the Pioneers, Cool Water, verse 3

Our massive over-development has reduced the amount of land able to absorb rainwater and our water table is not being replenished as a result. The over development is not centralized in Atlanta it covers the whole state. Storm run off is increased and is funneled into the Chattahoochee with pollutants such as oil, fertilizer and pesticides. No water restrictions were put into place until the crisis loomed. There has never been a water conservation and awareness program in the state and no tax incentives are given to home and business owners who do conserve this precious resource.

Now, a triple whammy has hit us. We are in the midst of a 100-year drought and predictions of a drier than normal winter lies ahead. Our growth has taxed the capabilities of Lake Lanier to supply us. The last hurdle is two species of mollusks, which inhabit the down river areas of the Chattahoochee before it dumps into the Gulf of Mexico. The Army Corp of Engineers is bound by federal law and federal mandate to supply enough water from Lake Lanier to maintain the species with a specific flow of water every day. Now we have the chants that little old ladies will go without water all because of a couple of stupid muscles down in Florida.

Dan's feet are sore he's yearning for just one thing more than water,
Cool water.
Like me, I guess, he'd like to rest where there's no quest for water,
Cool water.

Sons of the Pioneers, Cool Water, final verse

So here we are. Living through an event we have no control over, the drought; and living under conditions of our own making, a water crisis. The muscles in Florida are endangered in part because of the low water conditions created by Lake Lanier’s construction and other water grabs along the path of the Chattahoochee River. Lake Lanier was constructed to control flooding, create a water reservoir and generate electricity. The people came to the area Lake Lanier supports with no strings attached and they have overloaded the system. Now that a real emergency is just around the corner whom do we blame? The muscles.

Why do mollusks hate our freedoms? I need a drink of cool water.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The skinheads have their foot in the door -- slam the door.

Sometimes memories can come back and seem so real that I can taste sweat and blood in my mouth or smell diesel fuel exhaust on a cold dark morning where any sound rings like it’s inside a glass bell. When it happens an event will come to me in flashes with brief moments of visual and tactile clarity. A flurry of movement and I’m on the ground, a brief moment where I can see a flattened beer can on the asphalt and I can hear the sound of air rush just before the big Doc Martins’ begin stomping me. Another flurry of movement and the sensation of being pummeled followed by a vision of the hair on the side of a young man’s hand, a young man no older than me, just before I sink my teeth into the fleshy part of his hand and the pinky. I feel the resistance of his flesh and with the next two kicks I feel my teeth sink and embed deeply into his hand. Once my teeth have solid bone between them, I smell copper and then remember a flurry of arms and wails as I let go and they leave me under a bright and noisy light.

I remember lying on the ground with two sharp pains in my chest and side. One sharp pain when I inhaled and one when I exhaled, two pains with every breath. Each time I breathed I could feel the sensation of my breath being taken away by the pain. It felt like my side was cut open, but it wasn’t; it was the two freshly cracked ribs scraping flesh and muscle from the inside. I could see my breath and hear the idle of a garbage truck in front of the dumpster behind a business. The diesel smelled comforting to me, almost as sweet as honeysuckle, the diesel meant someone sane was there to help me. An older black man, older for me anyway since I was only 20 and he looked to be in his late 40’s, leaned in and asked if I was okay. His truck scared them away and from his cab and headlights he saw the final moments of my beat down. A half hour later I was in an ambulance and a few hours later I would be in a white duty van, being taken back to the ship with lots of questions awaiting from the duty officer when I arrived.

Yes, I remember skinheads.

They never went away, folks. They have always been with us; the last 6 years of xenophobia and Muslim hate have brought them converts. Now they feel emboldened and they are coming soon to a political rally near you. Stormfront, Aryan Nations and White Supremacists of all stripes are on their way to infiltrate and stand behind Presidential candidate Ron Paul. For the first time since Ross Perot ran for the office in 1992, we have a major not-by-the-books candidate, one that has something Perot never had; experience with the machine of Washington politics, and he’s gaining steam. The problem is the skinheads are out to wreck the party with their support.

It’s easy to say, “Well, I’m not racist and I don’t prescribe to their beliefs and supporting Ron Paul doesn’t mean I’m one of them or support them.” That sounds good but the truth is when you find common ground with groups of extremists as fucked up as the skinheads, it’s time to break that common ground and push the freaks to the gutter where they belong. It’s time for Ron Paul, and more to the point the Ron Paul supporters, to tell the neo-Nazis to go fuck themselves under threat of beating the holy living fuck out of every last one of them. I’m not a violent man, but I am all for beating skinheads shitless.

My experiences with these inbred shitheads were two fold. One was that they loved to show up at punk shows to see if there were any “easy pickings”. Easy pickings were either confused kids that were vulnerable to their recruitment. The other was people they could fight with. I had many physical scrapes with them over the years and only once, the experience I opened this post with, did they do real damage to me. The other area where I saw them was with the Klan. On more than one occasion did I run into Klansmen who were out doing their thing in packs, like wolves. Both the skinheads and the Klansmen have one thing in common. If their numbers aren’t good at the moment, they turn into pussies and won’t dare say shit even if they have guns or knives. Once they see they have the numerical and size upper hand, they’ll start the taunt and the beat down always follows the taunt. It’s like the playground in the 3rd grade on steroids with roid rage involved.

I’m not a large man; I stand all of 5’ 7” and weighed about 150 lbs back in the day, all of it muscle. But I have always “looked” like I can handle myself, which I can, and when they saw the discolored calluses on the ridge of my knuckles back then they looked at me differently, they assessed the situation and my skills more seriously. They always knew I was more trouble than was worth it unless they had a numerical advantage over me.

In the worst beat down I ever had in my life, I was surrounded by three of them, when I was alone and stranded after seeing a Minor Threat show. My old Dodge pickup died as I was leaving and I was forced to walk all the way back to the ship. I knew I was in trouble when I heard a low idling sedan cruising up behind me and low hushed voices inside the car. I stopped, stood my ground and in the end the fuckers might have sent me to the hospital but I can at least guarantee that some dumbass, if he’s still alive, has a God-awful scar and some nerve damage in his good hand, thanks to me. Wasn’t worth it, was it you fuckers? I got my licks in too.

The skinhead movement wants to prey on our frustrations with everything. They want to take advantage that we are frustrated by the lack of action by our government when it comes to immigration and border security. The longer it goes unchecked and the more angry we feel, the better the conditions are so they can start busting skulls unfettered and uncriticized by the good people of America. They want us to become so tired of the bullshit being done to our government that we are willing to jump on the same bandwagon as them when it comes to supporting a Presidential candidate. I’m not going to act all buddy-buddy with those fuckers and I hope you will shun them and point them out for the racist scum they really are.

The White Supremacist and Christian Identity movements have desperately wanted to be viewed in a more mainstream way for a long time. The conditions in this country have gone so far in the toilet that good people are now willing to lie in bed with a bunch of flea ridden shitheads just to get some change out of their government. Folks, if you lie with dogs, you will wake up with fleas. Don’t let the skinheads have a peek at the inside of the mainstream. Shoot them down and expose them whenever you get the chance.

To any skinheads out there who don’t like this post; go fuck yourselves. Fuck the Goddamn skinheads and fuck their bullshit ideas.

Friday, October 12, 2007

High Weirdness Drifter

The week is coming to a close, the weather is cooling off a bit and even though I haven’t had a lot of free time to make blog entries I certainly feel more energetic. I’m going to need that energy as I am in the process of moving to a new apartment in a few weeks. To all the visitors and feed subscribers out there, you can expect new postings but bear with me until early to mid-November. I hate the process of moving.

The recent upswing in Ron Paul mania has me think a lot more about the Republican and Democratic bathing beauties that have been trotted out for us to vote for. Now that we have had many debates and have been able to see these waterheads in action for a while there is a much better picture to look at with each candidate. I’m planning on writing a series of posts which will look at each candidate with an eye toward the topics that I blog about. To be honest, the cutting sarcasm and humor I often use is going to be unavoidable. Fair warning to all on this but at the least I can assure you that there will be some humor involved.

Let’s take a look at the news of late and see what is being overlooked by the mainstream press and what is odd, ominous and just plain goofy:

Al Gore has won the Nobel Peace Prize for his contributions in the field of global warming awareness and education. I guess the selection committee overlooked my idea on how to combat global warming – leave the door to your refrigerator open.

Speaking of the environment, your illustrious blogger may need to ask for donations of water by time 2008 rolls around. Lake Lanier, which supplies the water for the metropolitan Atlanta area, is 3 months away from going dry. Overdevelopment, piss-poor water management and a 100 year drought has transformed us from a “City among the trees” to a city drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds. I’d do a rain dance but the last time I danced in public folks thought I was having an epileptic seizure.

If it weren’t bad enough that only a handful of Americans support the crap happening in Washington, now the country of Turkey is pissed off at Congress too. They’ve recalled their ambassador and they are threatening to cut logistical support to our bases in Iraq and Afghanistan because of a vote to declare the Armenian Massacre as genocide. It’s a sad state of affairs when even a legitimate issue is cause for a pile on of this proportion. I haven’t been able to find a news article that explains what prompted this timely resolution. Afterall, it only happened nearly a century ago. Why now?

The CIA is ticked off at it’s own Inspector General for blowing the whistle on numerous fuckups and nightmare activities. What has the CIA decided to do about it? Investigate him. Yes, that’s right, folks. When you have a shitload of power and don’t like fair criticism you don’t have to change your ways when your criminal and negligent behavior is exposed. All you have to do is sic the dogs on the critic.,1,318772.story?coll=la-headlines-nation&track=crosspromo

If your kids are sick and you are a middle-class worker fighting like hell to not fall into a financial cesspool, the President thinks you should go fuck yourself if you think you are going to get a lifeline thrown to you. The waterheaded water carriers of the Sociopath in Chief think it’s a case of basic economics, common sense and a question of people thinking they have a “birthright to unlimited benefits”

Bush is also pitching a hissy fit over the safeguards that have been added to legislation that covers the programs that spy on American citizens. Once Bush throws himself on the floor, begins screaming at the top of his lungs, kicking and telling Congress that he hates them, they will cave in and give the baby his bottle. Yes, the Constitution is important but with all the wailing and embarrassment they will give in and give him what he wants. I guess we are living in a nanny state.

What sort of black programs are the spy masters using to create robotic spy insects? Get those fly swatters at the ready folks!

Marion Jones has boo-hoo’d her way into our hearts for admitting that she is a lying, cheating, convicted felon. Like Don King always says, only in America. One down, many more to go.

Last but not least…I have been on a serious reggae kick of late. It’s a genre that has held a special place in my heart since my early teenage years when I thought The Clash was the end all, be all of rock and roll. Those cats got me into it and it was so hard for me to find and buy reggae back then. This was pre-Internet and the little mountain town I was raised in had no record stores. The closest record store, in fact, was 30 miles away. I had to rely on mail order and buying stuff sight unseen, artist unheard of.

Back then I would find out who influenced who and tried to buy records from artists who’s name constantly cropped up in this interview or that article or those reviews. Sometimes I ordered stuff that I instantly hated, sometimes I found gems that made my innocent little eyes grow large with glee within two measures of the first cut. I often look back at my teenage years and the hoops I jumped through to get new and good music and I feel nostalgic and amazed at the whole process. The thrill of the hunt is gone with downloads and the act of sitting down to listen to music is a ritual that few even know of, let alone those who still do it. Times change and this is an area where I have stayed isolated and within my routine.

So, for your enjoyment and my own selfish pleasure, here is the marvelous, incomperable, unstopable, untopable and roots deeper than your own soul; Prince Buster live at Club Sombrero in 1962!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Oil, food, money and the dope addled brains of the GOP.

To make 1 gallon of gasoline you need to start with 2.15 gallons of crude oil.

Under optimal conditions it takes approximately 1.24 gallons of fuel to perform a single farming task on 1 acre of land.

You can make 230 gallons of ethanol per acre of corn.

Most bio-diesel made in the United States comes from soybeans, which yields only 70.13 gallons per acre.

The average steer produces 568 lb of beef.

To produce 1 lb of beef it requires between 2.6 lb to 16 lb (depending on data source) of feed.

A 1200 lb steer, from which 568 lb of beef is harvested, requires between 13.83 and 284 (depending on data source) gallons of oil.

Soybeans cost $10 per bushel, up from $7 per bushel in January of this year.

Corn costs $3.50 per bushel, up from $2.00 per bushel two years ago.

A bushel of wheat now costs $9.50, up from $5.00 per bushel in January.

A recent study in Montana shows that for a single adult the minimum living wage needed without asking for public assistance is $10.32 an hour, $20.97 for a single adult with two children. 40% of all job openings in the state pay less than $10.32 per hour. The study also found that the state’s median wage has risen by 9.1% since 2002 but the cost of health care has risen by 44% and the overall cost of living has shot up 19.7%.

Of the 56 counties in Montana, 46 have an average population of 6 or fewer people per square mile. In Chicago the population density is 12,000 people per square mile, average. In 2006, the City Council of Chicago attempted to enact a Living Wage Law, which would have required all employers to provide its employees with pay that would at least equal the minimum living wage for the city.

According to the US Census Bureau, in 2006 earnings dropped 1% and for the third straight year earnings lagged behind inflation. The number of uninsured Americans also increased in 2006 by a total of 2.2 million.

In yesterday’s GOP debate, candidate Fred Thompson said things look “rosy” when asked to describe the economic state of affairs in America today and "We have the second-highest corporate tax penalty in the world. We need to do better than that.” Rudy Guiliani said, "The possibilities for America in this global economy are endless”. Mitt Romney said, "It's inexcusable that Michigan is undergoing a one-state recession, that the rest of the country is growing”.

National Household Survey on Drug Abuse found in 2001 that more than 4.6 million Americans--a much higher number of individuals in need of professional help than had previously been thought--did not recognize their problem and were “in denial”.

The question is—will someone do an intervention for the Republican candidates about the economy and it’s effects on 90% of the American public?

AT&T -- Ruler of airwaves. Seriously, they now own it all.

The fat cats keep getting fatter, the mega-corporations keep expanding and choices for the consumer continue to dwindle. AT&T, the behemoth that keeps on gobbling up all it sees with no interference from government agencies, has just announced a deal they have worked out with Aloha Partners that will give them access to a massive block of wireless spectrum. The move will position AT&T in a way that they will now be the provider of 700Mhz for 196 million people. The deal is subject to regulatory approval but let’s face the facts, the feds are going to give AT&T anything they want.

The Chairman of the FCC, Keith Martin, has officially announced that they will not investigate AT&T on grounds that they illegally allowed the NSA to spy on Americans. The reasoning behind this is the stereotypical “National security” bullshit and lies. Of course the Telco spy scandal is a massive and multi-layered story that is being well covered by some media sources but woefully understated by the major media outlets. The old “National Security” line has been abused for a long time by the current sociopaths in DC but reports from yesterday cleared the air even more on this subject.

Remember the recent Osama Bin Laden video? The one where an obvious imposter was employed? Well, it appears that the White House once again threw intelligence national security down the toilet by releasing the video to Fox News long before giving copies to the law enforcement and intelligence agencies and in the process destroyed the network access capabilities of SITE Intelligence Group. How many fools are left to believe this administration when they have been caught so many times in lies?

This of course harkens back to the Plame affair, The Military Commissions Act of 2006, Patriot Acts I and II, the suspension of Posse Comitatus with the John Warner Defense Authorization Act of 2007…all just a long line of enabling this administration with the keys to the nation. To return to AT&T, of course the federal agencies that oversee the Telco’s like AT&T will allow them to do whatever they wish. They are letting the NSA peer into the raw voice and data streams, unfettered. The return for this ultra risky maneuver is free run of the candy store.

What AT&T has risked is their very lifeblood. In sane times, with sane leaders and a sane judiciary; AT&T would be liable for being a part of the largest breach of privacy and un-Constitutional behavior known to the American public. Since AT&T, and the companies they have purchased since 2001, maintain almost complete control over the voice and data networks every American uses, their liability would be to virtually every American man, woman and child who has spoken on the phone, emailed or surfed the web since 2001.

The civil suits are queued up and the Telco’s are pushing the halls of Congress with a passion to get a free pass, a legal written in law pass, for their digressions against the American public and their very own customers. Yet this level of power isn’t enough. They want more power, more bandwidth and more money. The government is all too happy to comply with their desires and allow them to expand, unchecked, as long as they keep that stream open for them.
Adding to this power grab are two recent issues of censorship by AT&T. The first was a blatant editing of a live concert streamed by AT&T of the band Pearl Jam. At one point in the performance lyrics critical of President Bush were cut out. When the issue was publicly spoken about and word began to spread, AT&T, of course, blamed a contractor for censoring on content. However, a recent change to the Terms of Service that customers of AT&T must follow states that they can completely sever your communications links if at any time you criticize AT&T. In other words, this is the fallout of the Pearl Jam censorship case. AT&T has decided to kill the messenger and the message.

Every day, at every step of the way, we are being watched, analyzed and categorized by our government. They took Nineteen Eighty-Four and looked at it as a wet dream, a template, for the future. Since most of us are familiar with the story even if not all of us have read the novel, can we break their plans and refuse to be their Winston Smith?

Monday, October 8, 2007

Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Jesus Party!

Coming soon to a ballot in your district, The Jesus Party. I can easily see this happening following the comments by James “The Dachshund Beater ( Dobson; that he will back a third party candidate if the Republican Party doesn’t pick someone who is, “conservative enough.” Talk about balls.

I think it’s time for the radical religious freaks to form their own political party, the Jesus Party. Where free spirits and those who live life without lies or shame are called heathens and are cursed. It’s time to put the extremists in a position where every American can see just how fucked in the head some of our worst fellow citizens are. No reason to pussyfoot around and pretend to be a “compassionate conservative”, just show the world how full of hate and contempt you really are. The rest of us can see what those folks are really all about and make some serious choices.

The current crop of 4th tier bathing beauties who are running for President are too afraid of telling hard truths and making hard choices. The Congress is locked in it’s own paralysis of doing the right things for fear of being branded as one thing or another. They are afraid of the consequences. The consequences being the loss of their cushy job in DC and that fear is something that shouldn’t be a part of the job because we all know those lobbyist positions are lined up after a career in politics. We need men and women to make the hard choices and say the things that have to be said to get us on the right track. Instead they’ll talk the talk that they believe is the talk we want to hear.

There was a time, even in the small north Georgia town I grew up in, that getting a bit too full of the Holy Spirit would bring about the response of the common sense most of us have. There was a time that we did not suffer fools gladly and it was encouraged to call things exactly as they appear to be. The fundamentalists had a side role in local politics and social issues, the role of the lunatic fringe. This was the case up until the early and mid 80’s. What precipitated this change from sanity to all-out goofiness? The fear of satanic forces.

Starting with the whole back masking phenomenon in the early 80’s I saw the attitudes in my small town change. First it was the satanic influences upon the young with rock music. Then they added the “epidemic” of drugs and they brought it full circle in the early 90’s with fear of the Clintons and the supposed hidden agenda of one-world secularism. As if the whole scene weren’t enough, my little hometown newspaper began operating a program where they asked the local citizens to rat each other out over who was selling drugs. Honest to God, they instilled fear into the citizens and then asked readers to send in their reports of suspicious activity to the newspaper, which would be forwarded to the local law enforcement authorities. The editor of the paper at that time was a former aid to radical right wing Congressman, Larry McDonald.

How did they frighten and change the minds of these simple country folks who had always maintained country smarts? Fear of everything that sits on the other side of the mountain and fear of it invading and taking over their small town, that’s how they did it. In a town like I came from, there are two mountains that separated us from the rest of the world. Nothing good or positive happened on the other side of those two mountains. To add to it, one mountain was where the drug dealers had their crops and the other housed devil worshipers. I am serious.

Lookout Mountain was where, according to rumor, pot growers had clandestine fields of dope, guarded by men with hunting rifles and woe to anyone who happened upon them. The other mountain was where two Satanists lived in their estate named Corpsewood ( . The mountains were more than just geological boundaries for the community; they became symbolic of barriers to keep the rest of the world at bay.

This is was a microcosm of the path we as a nation have gone down in the past 6 years. Fear of anything beyond the boundaries of our coastal areas and fear of anything beyond the borders that separated the countries we are sandwiched between. Everything on the other side is evil and satanic and we are constantly being infiltrated by demonic forces that threaten us.

In many ways, the field of Conspiracy Theory studies is similar to this phenomenon. We, the CT enthusiasts, are constantly trying to warn everyone else of the dangers we see. Dangers being guided by unseen forces, forces of evil. The problem with both CT studies and extremists religious causes is that far too often we both go into extremely radical territory. I myself understand that I have ideas that stray into the fantastic. However, there is a difference between the two groups. The radicalized religious want to alter the way we all live. They wish to enforce their beliefs upon all of us. The conspiracy theorists only want to broaden their, and your, horizons and expose the false idols around us.

It is easy to see the far religious right wishing to enslave all of us while the conspiracy theorists are trying to free us by exposing the plots. What is most surprising to me in this process is how many conspiracy theorists wind up like Texe Marrs and become caught in anti-Semitism and I really believe there is a trigger point which starts this conversion. Once they head down the “Jewish conspiracy” path there is rarely an outcome other than far right-wing political extremism.

So let’s all cheer for the formation of the Jesus Party. Perception and reality, ideaology and truth rarely meet in the center. Sooner or later the far right-wing of this country will need to show their true colors, on full display for all to see. After all, if you are going to be a full blown fascist you might as well wear the t-shirt that shows you were there for the party.