Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Presidential Bathing Beauties -- Round 1 -- The wide hips candidates.

Presidential Bathing Beauty hopefuls Duncan Hunter (R) and Chris Dodd (D) enjoying the view.

Who - Candidate Duncan Hunter

Qualifications – He’s a lawyer and has been in the House of Representatives since 1981.

Platform – Wants to amend the Constitution to define “personhood” at the moment of conception and make an amendment to define marriage as being between man and woman only. Believes in slashing taxes, slashing budgets (except DoD related budgets) and making sure the NEA doesn’t get a penny. Wants to build more border fencing, create a national employment verification system and reform birth right citizenship.

What’s the deal? – Seems to be parroting some of the neo-con and traditional GOP talking points (War on Terror, gays – bad / pro life - good) but appears to buck the trend on trade (one way street analogy). Right wing extremist “pundits” Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham and Michelle Malkin lust for him in that polemic sort of way. What a crazy 4 way that would make.

One of the things that has all but destroyed American manufacturing and crippled the financial prospects for the lower-middle class and working class in this country, is NAFTA. I give big props to Rep. Hunter for taking an anti-NAFTA stance. In the close bond between big business and big government, this is a stance that I understand can be a relationship killer for a politician.
In the shattered world of defining political leanings, Rep. Hunter is being labeled a “conservative” Republican vs. a “liberal” Republican (Giulliani, Huckabee). I just see him as being a cross between a Goldwater conservative (fiscal, trade), a Reagan Conservative (social, military) and a Moral Majority conservative (right to life, anti-gay). In other words, he’s a Gumbo Republican.

Trivia – Served in Vietnam for the 75th Ranger Regiment, 173rd Airborne as a First Louie, not a ring tapper either.

Bathing Beauty Quals – Give Pat Buchanan a Valium, or give 4 Valiums to Ron Paul, and you have summed up his Bathing Beaty qualifications. He can’t seem to express passion and serious ideas because he cannot elicit passion and seriousness. Good intentions, some good ideas but something seems “off” in his delivery. I have a feeling that if you sat with him, off the record and talked about issues he would be able to express, one-on-one what he believes in. I believe you could disagree with him and the discussion wouldn’t teeter from a wedge due to the differences.

Can he get the nomination? – Only if Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham and Michelle Malkin do a 3 way lez fest on pay-per view to raise campaign money.

Can he become PotUS 44? – Not if Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham and Michelle Malkin do a 3 way lez fest on pay-per view to raise campaign money.

Conspiracy Theories? – If you sat down with him, off the record, I have a feeling he would give you the blank stare if you asked his thoughts about conspiracy theories. I think he knows about them in a general sense, meaning he thinks they are kooky and theorists are kooks. “Next question.” Would be his response.

Who – Candidate Chris Dodd

Qualifications – A Lawyer and has served Congress since his election to the House of Representatives in 1975 and the Senate in 1980. 32 years in DC…holy Jesus, Dodd.

Platform – Parrots the end the war in Iraq line, but doesn’t define where troops will be “redeployed”. Talks the talk on energy but only offers tax incentives for consumers to buy new energy efficient cars. How about the working poor, for whom buying a Prius just isn’t an option? Follows the standard Roosevelt and Great Society beliefs on social issues.

What’s the deal? – Dodd is one of those unknown factors. He talks the talk on a lot of issues but his total number of years inside the Beltway seems to have worn off on him like it has John McCain. I think Dodd is politically savy and knows what lingo to throw out there. I just don’t think he can walk the walk, be a ball buster when it’s needed or pull people together when he needs to.

– 2nd generation Senator, his father was one of the prosecutors at the Nuremburg War Crimes Tribunal. Spent two years in the Peace Corp and six years in the Army Reserves and National Guard.

Bathing Beauty Quals – If this were the Miss America pageant, Dodd would be a 1940’s version of Miss Idaho or North Dakota; personable and nice and likable but not a lot of beauty or substance or depth. He’s a wide hips sorta politician. He chose a role (stereotypical social cause Democrat) and stuck with it instead of being a visionary. It’s a shame because with his background he could have easily become one.

Can he get the nomination?
– Sure, if the rest of the Democrats jump out of the race.

Can he become PotUS 44? – Sure, if he runs un-opposed…across the board.

Conspiracy Theories? – I have a feeling if you sat down with him in a cabin out in the boonies of Connecticut and a case of beer, he’d laugh it up for a while with you. If there are any conspiracy theories that Dodd might have a thought over it would be the JFK assassination. I doubt if he would follow a single theory belief in the JFK assassination, he probably just believes “someone” was behind it all.

Summary - Bet good money on Dodd to spend another 3 decades in Congress. Bet good money on Hunter getting uber rich on a lobbyist salary when he decides it's time to call all those favors back home when he leaves office. Don't bet a penny that either man will have a shot in hell at becoming the next President...thank God for small miracles.

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