Titties, guns and Butts County. The Eldrin fuckin' Bell redux.

I was looking at my logs Monday evening and found myself scratching my head as to why so many people were searching for and landing on my entry about Big Brother’s Little Helper, Eldrin fucking Bell, from last year. Sometimes an old post will get numerous hits out of the blue, sometimes because of events in the news, but usually for no apparent reason. It’s like a flock of people just appear for no reason and then disappear. Then I caught last night’s 11 O’clock news and found out why so many people were looking for blog entries on Bell, starting as early as Saturday night.

Apparently Eldrin was at a private 4th of July party on Saturday, thrown by a titty bar baron who lives down in Butts County. No pun intended. While at this party Bell fucked up his thumb and it appears that rumors started flying that he (or someone else?) had shot off his thumb. Now it appears he just burned the shit out of it while shooting an unspecified large caliber handgun at the titty bar magnate’s indoor shooting range.

Before I go any further, let me get a couple of stories out of the way before addressing Big Brother’s Little Helper. I’ve been to a titty bar on two occasions in my life. Both times I was with my best friend of almost 25 years. This guy used to sell cheap jewelry to strippers in Philly from the back of his car when he was 18 years old so his perspective on the whole titty bar thing is completely different than mine. The guy is a riot and he’s actually an amazing guy, even though he thinks titty bars are a hoot. His name is Mike.

The first time I ever went to one of those joints was back in the early 80’s, long before they became “gentlemen’s clubs”. Back then, they were dangerous dives with dangerous patrons and they employed dangerous women who looked hard from the road they had traveled. So here we are in this titty bar in Pensacola, Florida; five of us in total and we are all young sailors. I was sitting between Mike and one of my favorite all-time wild men, a guy I worked with whom I’ll ID only as Steve.

Steve was a wild fucking mess of a bastard and one of the greatest free spirits I’ve ever known, he ran with total abandon through life. God bless the Steve’s of this world for they make the daily drudgery of existing more colorful, exciting and interesting. One time he lost a brand new rented Iroc Camaro in Ft. Lauderdale during Spring Break. The ship we were all crewmembers of made port visits to Ft. Lauderdale every spring and on one occasion Steve rented an Iroc while we were there. Dude walked down the brow of the ship one afternoon and suddenly realized he didn’t know where he parked the car. In fact he realized that he didn’t remember how he did get to the ship the night before or what he had done after about 5PM the night before. Lost a brand new, 1987 model with the T-top, rented Iroc. Gone baby. Lost. Forever.

So here is Steve, sitting to my right at the end of the dancing area. This dancer came up to me, looked down while she was shaking the moneymakers and I noticed that she had crossed eyes, tattoo’s on her tits and was wearing a gold lame bikini. Unlike Bob Dylan, I didn’t look a little bit uneasy and she didn’t bend down to tie the lace…of my shoes. I just stared at one of her eyes, beer bottle frozen half way between bar top and my lips. She sensed no dollar tips were coming from me so she sauntered over to Steve, who I now noticed was leaning on the bar with both elbows, that Wildman gleam in his eyes and a big grin on his face. “Oh boy..” I thought.

Mike is sitting to my left and talking with one of the guys he worked with and I’m staring straight ahead at the distant wall. The next thing I know the stripper screams and I look to the right to see Steve right at the tail end of something that I’d never seen before. As she was shuffling away I could see this large shiny streak of saliva running up the crack of her ass and Steve was cackling with that killer laugh he had. As the stripper bent over in front of him, Steve related to us later, he licked her from somewhere in the vicinity of the taint all the way up to somewhere close to her tail bone.

The stripper chick was also moonlighting as a biker chick and guess who was playing pool on the other side of the titty bar? Yup, the boyfriend and members of the motorcycle gang he was with. Back then; bikers weren’t stockbrokers or even guys who made a good living doing general contracting construction work. Back then, bikers were rough bastards who used to slit people open with knives and date strippers. We were in deep shit.

Long story short, we escaped with a few minor pushes and shoves and only a punch or two thrown by the bikers. Steve had given us a brush with death all because he thought it would be great fun to lick a cross-eyed stripper’s ass crack. I miss crazy ass Steve and often wonder what became of him through the years.

The second trip to a titty bar came a year or so after Dave Attel had a show on Comedy Central where every week he would traipse around a different city, showing what happens there at 3AM. He had visited Atlanta and showed the world the joys of the Clermont Lounge down on Ponce. Mike was visiting and he simply had to see the bar where the bartender crushed beer cans with her tits and see the mother and daughter strippers. This time we got out without danger of being shiv’d by a biker but middle age had robbed us of much of the rambunctiousness of our Navy days. Still, it was an experience to be had.

With the stories out of the way let me say that while I don’t think those types of clubs return something worthwhile to the community, I certainly will back up anyone’s choice to own, visit or work in one. It’s all about freedom of choice and letting people make their own decisions in life. Hey, if you can find no inner light, no sense of self-realization or sense of human decency from our existence in this temporary and ethereal realm, go for it and enjoy Tammy on the center stage. Besides, it’s only a fucked up rationalization of human sexuality and lack of love for themselves or their fellow man that drives people to such places. It’s not like they are doing something that destroys communities and lives, like selling heroin to 8 year-olds or becoming a politician.

So, Eldrin fuckin’ Bell is at the palatial estate of this titty bar mogul on Saturday and he fucks his thumb up while shooting a gun. Let’s go a few layers deeper here. While I have never been to a party thrown at the palace of a titty bar empire owner, I do expect there would be several things I could count on if I did:
1) There will be lots of expensive booze to drink for free. (Or maybe it’s rotgut placed into Top Shelf bottles?)
2) Got Cohibas? Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
3) Like easy women with big fake boobs? Plenty of those too.
4) If I’m someone who the titty bar owner wants to curry favor with, or show appreciation for, I can expect to have wild and naughty sex with a (several?) of his employee(s). i.e…the girls who show their titties.

Look, I’m not saying it’s cool, I’m just saying that if I’m supporting and backing a titty bar owner in a county where the sheriff is 100% against this guy’s business and that sheriff is my enemy…Well…I’d be expecting his employees (the strippers) to provide me with some lovin’ I can’t get at home…if you know what I mean.

You can say I’m a bad person for saying that but hey, I’m not in that position and I am not looking for that and I am not condoning it. I’m only telling you how these sort of things sometimes work out in the real world. No one in their right mind backs a titty bar owning scumbag, lowlife bottom-feeder unless they are getting SOMETHING in return, even if said titty bar looser is an enemy of your enemy. It may be illegal to offer or take a money bribe but if your bread and butter is the exploitation of women, you don’t even need to worry about the dreaded “B” word. Just send the more impressionable and easy of the girls over to give away a free blowjob and you are all set.

I’m not saying Eldrin fuckin’ Bell is getting stripper blowjobs for his support of the low life strip club vermin. What I’m saying is if he’s at a 4th of July party, that is invitation only for the mucky-mucks, with all those young and sexually free women around and free booze is flowing like the river Jordan….what in the fucking hell is Eldrin doing wasting his time shooting fucking guns for fun? Seriously, is Bell into some sort of weirdo power trip thing where the only way he can pop usable wood, is after he fires off some rounds at the shooting range? Why isn’t he in some hidden bedroom, getting really funky stripper sex while guzzling straight from the Chivas bottle?

Man, Eldrin. Go back to making seriously fucked up analogies of George Orwell’s novel and fucking with the public’s expectations of privacy and stay away from the titty bar gun range. Use your thumb for more useful purposes like resting inside your rectum.

Downard's example

Back in the early 90’s I became quite interested in the works of James Shelby Downard through various Feral House publications. While the vast majority of his writings flew over my twenty-something head, I was still able to comprehend that Downard was tapping into certain methodologies that could be used by anyone on any subject. Want to know why watching TV can make you feel depressed? Pay closer attention to the real nature of what you are watching and you will find out why you feel so rotten. Understanding the nature of TV broadcasting forces you to use some of Downard’s methodology such as understanding the language and use of symbols and words, the etymology of words, the way we really communicate and the way we truly perceive. Downard even saw the lay of the land, geography, as a form of communication.

If you have lived or spent any good length of time in Atlanta you probably know a set of high-rise office buildings on the north end of the perimeter known as the King and Queen buildings. I’ve driven by them for years, even lived within viewing distance of them and could see them out my bedroom window for years. Imagine my surprise recently as I was stuck in traffic on 400 southbound and saw them for the first time in a new light. The official name for the buildings is the Concourse Towers. Locals know them as the King and Queen buildings due to their unique open beam construction at the top of the buildings, which makes them look like King and Queen chess pieces. Downard probably would have found the symbolism and place marks of his trade in a matter of moments, for me it took years to open my eyes.

The beam structures at the top of these two buildings are white and if they were lined up on a chessboard, the white player would be facing south, with the Queen to the left of the King. I wondered, “Who is playing chess and who is their opponent?” The black opponent, it would seem, would be the city of Atlanta itself.

There is no such thing as accidental design in architecture. All aspects of a building’s design are well thought out from the colors to the shape and there is meaning behind these and many other things on large structures. Look at the very old buildings in your city and look closely for details the architect placed into them. The idea that an architect or a firm commissioning a design for a multi-million dollar building would throw symbolism into a design with no real meaning behind those designs is absurd. Symbolism is a form of communication; even a company logo is a form of communication. Even if the logo’s real meaning is to simply elicit an emotional response in the public it is still there by design. It was talked about, thought out and debated by a group of people.

Let’s look at these buildings and the overall lay of the land in Atlanta. The buildings themselves are known as the Concourse Towers and they sit immediately on the outside center of the I-285 perimeter interstate and immediately east of the GA 400 toll road which bisects 285. If we look at the opposite end of I-285 and to the immediate west of where I-75 bisects 285; just inside the perimeter is Hartsfield-Jackson airport. There is a northern “concourse” and a southern “concourse” represented in these two locations. There is the coming together or merging of the rural, suburban, exurban and urban at the perimeter.

But there are no chess piece representations of these two buildings around the airport. The King and Queen buildings are figurative representations of a chess game being played by the northern end of Atlanta against the city of Atlanta itself. Well known as a city represented by, led and governed by African-Americans, the black chess pieces are the leadership base of the city itself. It is the white suburbs against the black inner city.

Where are the other chess pieces? This one is a bit more awkward as there is not even a grid style layout to Atlanta streets. You can still see symbolic relationships to chess pieces if you look at other landmarks around the city.

To the west of the Concourse in the position for King’s Rook you will find the Dobbins Air Reserve base and the main Lockheed aircraft assembly plant where the F-22 fighter is built. In King’s Knight position you will find the location where the Chattahoochee River makes an L-shaped bend, similar to the move that that Knight can make. In Knight’s Bishop you will find two very interesting places just a few thousand feet apart, Arlington Cemetery and the Sandy Springs Masonic lodge #124.

So, beginning in the west we have a military base and a major Military-Industrial Complex facility representing the Rook, the Castle, the Siege Tower. Three miles to the east of that facility we have a natural landmark where the river bends in an L-shape like the move made by the Knight, the only piece from the back row that can be moved before the Pawns (people), and in light of our recent water woes in the southeast where the movement of water is at issue, it is interesting to note this idea. Three miles to the east of the bend in the river we have Arlington Cemetery and the Masonic lodge representing the Bishop. Two miles to the east of the Bishop are the King and Queen buildings.

Atlanta has had it’s black King; the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. His tomb at the King Center represents the black King in this game of chess; the queen is the tomb of his late wife, Coretta Scott King. His Queen’s Bishop is represented by his church, Ebenezer Baptist Church, to the west. His Queen’s Knight could be symbolically represented by I-75-85 at the “Grady Curve” which makes a long arcing turn around the east side of downtown Atlanta, somewhat similar to the L-shaped move of the Knight. His Queen’s Rook would be the Auburn Ave. district, a “stronghold of black culture in Atlanta. If his late wife is buried to the west of his body at the King Center, I would not be surprised. This is something I would like to investigate in the near future.

Even more enlightening is to take a map of Atlanta and mark the King Center and the Atlanta Masonic Temple and draw a line between the two. If you look to the west of the King Center you will see Washington Park. Draw a line between the King Center and the park and then draw a line between Washington Park and the Masonic Temple. You now have a triangle. If you turn this triangle into the All Seeing Eye and look to the center of the eye you will find the campus of the Georgia Institute of Technology. The exact center of this eye is the corner of 4th Street and Fowler Street. If you look at a map of the Tech campus you will see that this is the center of Greek housing on campus - the fraternities.

Atlanta sits on the 33rd degree of latitude. 33 being a major number with Freemasonry and leads to all sorts of interesting ideas. The main Masonic Temple of Atlanta sits on the north side of I-85 at the Brookwood interchange, across the street from the Atlanta Amtrak station at the corner of Deering Rd. and Peachtree St. If you take 85 north it is impossible to not see the temple. Fraternal orders, secret societies, hidden symbolism..it is all-present even in my city.

Look around your town a bit, look for the odd and unusual but by all means, please keep your eye out for the obvious. Sometimes secrets are best told by leaving them completely in the open, where all can see the plans of the Grand Architect.

The downtown connector is no place for scaredy cats

I’ve always felt a particular pain for folks driving through Atlanta for that yearly visit to Granny’s house at Thanksgiving time. This city is full of psychotic drivers on even the least traffic heavy days, and when Thanksgiving rolls around a large chunk of the population flies back home to whatever city they are originally from, leaving the remainders with a less congested road and the muscle memory for driving like a loon. The things these travellers must think became painfully obvious on Saturday night as a family of Floridians tried to navigate the Brookwood interchange while it was plugged from an accident and the Battle of Georgia was being waged nearby on the Georgia Tech campus. I had a front row seat to it.

After the Thanksgiving visit with my family I came back to town since I had to work on Friday. All weekend I had the opportunity to see out of state plates and Georgia tags bearing the county names for places far flung to the four corners of the state. Seeing those folks drive on Atlanta roads and the Interstate roadways was painful and eye opening, as always. The old saying is “country come to town” and I can get away with saying it because of my hillbilly roots.

They are easy to spot. Just look for the center lanes and there they are, puttering along at the speed limit or just below the limit and as you pass you can look over and see the absolute fear in their eyes, both hands tightly gripping the steering wheel. Why they stick to the center lanes was a mystery to me for years until I finally figured it out. Normally the center lanes here are a DMZ of sorts. It’s the no-man’s land where one will normally see wrecks originate. The slower drivers should be in the far right lane but I think these folks are scared that right lane will become a turn only lane and they won’t be able to merge back into a left lane, so they would be forced to take the off ramp in some unfamiliar area. I wonder if they are terrified thinking that waiting at the end of every off ramp is a pack of 2 dozen crazed city folk, high on crack or God knows what; just waiting to pick off the easy prey.

So, on they drive, in the middle lane with folks passing them at speeds higher than the pace car for the Indy 500. Everyone blasts by them and sometimes they will cut right in front of them as a way of telling them to get the hell out of the middle lane. The looks on their faces as they near the downtown connector is one of panic and pure primal fear and I got to see one first hand on Saturday night.

I was up in the Marietta area late in the day and decided to come home via 75 and then on to 85 north at the downtown connector. I had the Georgia v. Georgia Tech game on the radio and as I neared the city the traffic update signs warned of the 4 left lanes being blocked by an accident at 10th St. I continued on and thought it would just give me more time to enjoy the game on the radio. Just below Northside Drive the traffic turned into a parking lot and we crept up to the north side of the Brookwood split.

At the exit ramp for 85 north some poor soul was completely lost and freaked by the mass of humanity as he tried to go from the HOV lane to the main body of traffic. I suppose he thought the HOV would take him and his family off course from I-75. When Georgia scored as Southerland ran it in near the end of the 3rd quarter, Bulldog Nation was well represented in the traffic jam and all of us were easy to spot. We began honking our horns and flashing our lights, hands and arms flailing and pumping in the air. The poor bastard with his family in the minivan in front of us was freaked beyond limit. He had no idea what had transpired, the family was convinced the display was anger being pointed at them for blocking two lanes of traffic.

I’m not talking about run of the mill freaked in this case, it was obvious that the whole scenario was freaking out the kids in the backseat too because they were bawling like they had just woke up on Christmas morning with huge lumps of coal to greet them and no toys. It was hitching sobs time from the backseat of “young uns” and Dad was sawing at the wheel, looking like he was going to blow a gasket with everyone honking and flashing their lights at him…or so he thought. The wife was in full-blown panic mode and after years of reading the lips of baseball players I could see she was mouthing the words, “Oh dear Jesus! Roy! They’re gonna kill us all!” Little did Dad and Mom and the tykes know that the lights and horns were for a touchdown that had just happened only a mile or so away in the spacious bowl that is Bobby Dodd Stadium.

It was easy to feel bad for them for having such a terrifying moment on their way back home to someplace in Florida. It was also quite funny to see a carload of Floridians so petrified at the experience. I will guarantee you that someplace down in Florida; a family who owns a white Dodge minivan complete with the LCD screen for the kiddos in the backseat is telling everyone about the nightmare that is Atlanta. “Those people in Atlanta are out of their damned minds! We almost got killed in a traffic jam and ALL of them were flashing their lights at us, honking their horns and waving their arms. I wouldn’t live in that dump for all the money in the world!”

Helpful advice for those travelling through Atlanta for vacation, business or moving: Stay to the right, and above all, don’t panic.

Signs on the road, sign of the times.

My trip to and from work every day takes me through quite a few contrasting areas and neighborhoods. I start out in the residential area just north of the Decatur city limits; work my way past Lavista, I-85, Buford Highway and Peachtree Street. I head north through the tawny and wealthy neighborhoods of Buckhead and cruise up to the north end of the perimeter where I hop on 400 north and feel the adrenaline rush of driving with the hogs of the road until I am finally able to escape the high speed and substitute it with the stop and go of a red light every 100 yards in Alpharetta. The path is flipped around in the late afternoon for the gas burn home. I have alternate routes for when the traffic plugs due to a wreck or water main break or God knows what.

The trip is interesting in the morning as I can cruise very well and make it through many red lights before I finally have to stop. I can see the neighborhoods as I pass and get a look at my surroundings for a little while. The OCD aspect of my personality is best suited for the drive as I count things while I drive. A trick to pass time that I picked up years ago when I would drive home to visit family when I was on leave in the Navy. I count red lights, mileage, elapsed time and a wide range of other things. If I run out of obvious things to count I’ll turn my attention to car makes, models and colors.

The other week I found myself counting For Sale and For Rent signs along the side of the road. I tallied 25 homes for sale and 7 for rent. Of the 25 homes listed for sale, 16 of them were in the upscale Buckhead neighborhoods. This didn’t include the numerous condo projects that are still being built and the ones that have recently been completed. 16 multi-million-dollar homes for sale just between Peachtree Street and Pill Hill on the northside, and this was seen on one road, Peachtree-Dunwoody. Think about that for a minute, I’ll come back to it.

When financial “bubbles” burst, they do one of two things: 1) A sudden and widespread deflation. 2) A slow and prolonged leak. The mortgage crisis is a bubble that leaks like the latter, it’s a slow and drawn out process. The highest number of sub-prime loans that had a reset has just come and gone. October was the month that saw the highest number of interest rate resets. The fall out from those resets will not be seen for quite a while. The folks who have already been caught up in the crisis were those who got on the bandwagon early. The ones who jumped on while it was in full swing are just now being pulled through the wringer.

As I drove north on Peachtree-Dunwoody that morning and caught myself admiring the many older, more lovely homes I noticed that it was the newer infill style McMansions that had the for sale signs and very few of the older homes were for sale. I thought about the millions of dollars spent to buy the land, paying crews to tear down the old homes and build the new houses. I thought about what some of those places will look like after they have sat vacant for months. I thought of the stories we are hearing out of Cleveland and the Slavic Village neighborhood.

Slavic Village, for those not familiar, is an old, established neighborhood in Cleveland that was settled by European immigrants starting back in the 1800’s. It has been the most severely effected neighborhood in the entire nation, by this mortgage crisis. The last figure I saw stated that about 800 homes are vacant in this area and the director of a foreclosure prevention center in Cuyahoga County stated that it takes approximately 72 hours after a home is vacated before the looters break in. The looters are stealing recyclable materials such as copper and aluminum.

I don’t think this would happen in Buckhead as there is too much concentrated wealth and power living there to allow it to happen and I don’t think “white flight” is going to be an issue like Detroit saw decades ago. The housing trend in Atlanta has reversed in recent years with more people moving back inside the perimeter. Still, the thought of massive McMansions sitting vacant all through this upscale and power laden neighborhood is chilling.

Reports across the board show that the worst is still yet to come. An analogy would be that what we see now is simply the salad being brought to the dining table and the main course is only now being put in the oven. We are being bitten by commodity inflation and a trip to get groceries carries it’s own sticker shock. The earned wages of Americans have not kept pace with inflation over the last 6 years and now we are in a spot where the dollars is breaking records on an almost daily basis for all-time lows in value. Money doesn’t stretch because it is becoming worthless. Where will this end?

Like those homes in Buckhead, there are people who have massive personal wealth, the sort who can survive this economic slide with no problem. There are also people who are on the periphery and barely making it, even in the higher income brackets and even in those tawny neighborhoods. We, like our nation as an entity, are getting close to the breaking point. How much longer it will last before the rubber band snaps is beyond my knowledge. The fallout is going to be massive and it doesn’t take an economist to see that.

All any of us can do is hold on and wait to see when the other shoe drops.

Why do mollusks hate our freedoms?

Par for the course, the 100-year drought and looming water catastrophe for the metropolitan Atlanta area, is turning into a political mud fling (no pun intended). They did this and they did that, they said this and they said that. That’s the cream that is rising to the top. Meanwhile, Lake Lanier is dropping 1.7 inches per day. Rains are forecast for tonight, Thursday and Friday so we shall see if a drop of cool water will fall on us.

All day I face the barren waste without the taste of water,
Cool water.
Old Dan and I with throats burned dry and souls that cry for water,
Cool water.

Sons of the Pioneers, Cool Water, verse 1

This problem has been brewing for years, long before I was born and possibly before you were born. The problem can be read about in James Dickey’s novel Deliverance, it can be seen in the distinct shift in Georgia politics since the flawed Governorship of Joe Frank Harris and it can be told when you talk with a person who lives in Georgia regardless of what town or city they live in regardless if they are native or transplant. The problem, to be blunt, is hatred, hurt feelings and selfishness. We are all to blame, native Georgian and Yankee transplant living in Buckhead. All of us are to blame and no one wants to tell the truth about it. I am to blame as well as I have been apathetic to the fights even though I do not waste water.

The story should really start back in the post-war days of the mid and late 1940’s. The south as a whole was still in the process of coping with being an agrarian society that was converting to an industrialized society. The major cities of the south such as Atlanta, Birmingham, New Orleans, were all growing and basic resources were needed. Birmingham, along with Chattanooga, were the great industrial cities of the south, with steel being king. TVA was creating electricity for every type of manufacturing plant you can think of, and the horrendous flooding of the Tennessee River was a long ago trouble that only your Granny remembered well. Atlanta and New Orleans at one time fought backroom deals and pulled every old boy that could be found into the network to get the Federal Reserve Bank. Atlanta eventually won and got the bank but the bad feelings from the fight are still felt.

The night are cool and I'm a fool each stars a pool of water,
Cool water.
But with the dawn I'll wake and yawn and carry on to water,
Cool water.

Sons of the Pioneers, Cool Water, verse 2

Atlanta’s future growth was tied to two things, water and electricity. Atlanta was out of the TVA grid so Georgia Power was tasked with ramping up projects to make more electricity. Water could be provided through a reservoir system, which could also have the side benefits of creating hydroelectric power and provide a new middle-class with recreational facilities. Land was surveyed, families were chased away and before the 60’s arrived, Atlanta had a reliable water supply and power generating capabilities that would last for decades of growth before new plants needed to come online.

Quite literally, Atlanta had positioned itself as a city with growing room. The city had the utilities in place to support the massive population of today long before it even had a million residents or before the Interstate Highway System had snaked it’s way through the city. City leaders, businessmen and politicians recognized this early on and the big push was on. The catchy slogan came out, Southern Bell ran more and more wire out into what was then known as the suburbs and under the gold dome of the state capitol more and more funds were shipped to the metropolitan Atlanta area for projects tied to economic growth.

Keep a movin' Dan, don't you listen to him Dan,
he's a devil not a manand he spreads the burnin' sand with water.
Dan can't you see that big green tree where the waters runnin' freeand it's waiting there for me and you.
Water, cool water.

Sons of the Pioneers, Cool Water, chorus

The construction of the I-285 perimeter roadway is the embodiment of what Georgians have felt for generations. There are two Georgia’s, one in the city of Atlanta (Inside the Perimeter, or ITP for short) and one that comprises the rest of the state (Outside the Perimeter, or OTP for short). Old festering grudges have built up over the years. It has been “our way vs. their way” on both sides of 285 for a very long time and the resentment for a long line of real or believed slights has deepened.

In the meantime growth in Atlanta has skyrocketed beyond what anyone had envisioned. The city’s infrastructure is unable to handle the load. In some areas such as the storm water and sewerage systems, the advanced age and condition has been known about for decades but has only been addressed in recent years but is still not fixed. The land use issues have escalated between landowners and local/state regulators. The claims of overbearing laws and regulations are shouted whenever a developer is not allowed to completely cover acres of land or a homeowner is fined for cutting down trees. When real estate developers are told they cannot create massive infill housing in older, established neighborhoods they claim interference from government bureaucracy.

Whenever the serious problems have been discussed and brought out into the open the old and tired chants were given once the cost of fixing the problems was told. "We are taxed to death! We can't keep paying OUR hard earned cash to keep that city afloat." "Why should Georgians pay for Atlanta's luxuries. If they need to fix their system, let them pay for it." "Why should I not have control over my own future and give Atlanta the control over my business, my residential area and my zoning laws?" "No wonder Atlanta has so many problems, it's run by nothing but blacks. Whites moved out to the suburbs in the 60's and 70's and those cities are growing nicely." Yes, we have heard it all and they have said it all. It's the same old excuses, the same old stories and the same old lines they have been saying for more than 5 decades.

The shadows sway and seem to say tonight we pray for water,
Cool water.
And way up there He'll hear our prayer and show us where there's water,
Cool Water.

Sons of the Pioneers, Cool Water, verse 3

Our massive over-development has reduced the amount of land able to absorb rainwater and our water table is not being replenished as a result. The over development is not centralized in Atlanta it covers the whole state. Storm run off is increased and is funneled into the Chattahoochee with pollutants such as oil, fertilizer and pesticides. No water restrictions were put into place until the crisis loomed. There has never been a water conservation and awareness program in the state and no tax incentives are given to home and business owners who do conserve this precious resource.

Now, a triple whammy has hit us. We are in the midst of a 100-year drought and predictions of a drier than normal winter lies ahead. Our growth has taxed the capabilities of Lake Lanier to supply us. The last hurdle is two species of mollusks, which inhabit the down river areas of the Chattahoochee before it dumps into the Gulf of Mexico. The Army Corp of Engineers is bound by federal law and federal mandate to supply enough water from Lake Lanier to maintain the species with a specific flow of water every day. Now we have the chants that little old ladies will go without water all because of a couple of stupid muscles down in Florida.

Dan's feet are sore he's yearning for just one thing more than water,
Cool water.
Like me, I guess, he'd like to rest where there's no quest for water,
Cool water.

Sons of the Pioneers, Cool Water, final verse

So here we are. Living through an event we have no control over, the drought; and living under conditions of our own making, a water crisis. The muscles in Florida are endangered in part because of the low water conditions created by Lake Lanier’s construction and other water grabs along the path of the Chattahoochee River. Lake Lanier was constructed to control flooding, create a water reservoir and generate electricity. The people came to the area Lake Lanier supports with no strings attached and they have overloaded the system. Now that a real emergency is just around the corner whom do we blame? The muscles.

Why do mollusks hate our freedoms? I need a drink of cool water.

Forget the Wall Street Journal, drive around town to understand what the economy is like.

One of my favorite Saturday activities is to hit the yard sales and thrift stores. Sometimes I score some real finds in the areas that I collect and to sell on eBay. The real scores aren’t frequent but they do occur. This year I can claim among my finds; some 1st pressing Kinks LPs in astounding condition, the obligatory stash of great books and a Heywood-Wakefield end table. There is a side benefit to hitting these spots each weekend and that is a chance to gauge the market and financial situation among my fellow Atlantans.

Last summer I began seeing a noticeable rise in for sale and house for rent signs on my typical routes. As this summer has come to a close I have seen a serious drop in those signs along the road but the homes are not being sold. They sit empty, the yards beginning to look un-kept and messy. Next will come random vandalism as the homes sit, unsold and unused. The vandalism will ruin the homes and bring down the values of the surrounding houses even more.

The thrift stores are seeing more and more shoppers. I’ve noticed this as the summer has progressed. I’ve been used to a mix of three distinct groups of people at these stores over the years. One, the group I am a part of, is the dealers who sell on eBay or have booths at antique malls. Two is the group of folks who just love to find bargains and the thrill of looking for a serious “find” at the stores. The last group is the folks who really do benefit from buying clothes and household items at thrift stores. I think the latest upswing in shoppers at the thrift stores is comprised of folks who have suddenly felt the pinch of the economic downturn. I see more new cars parked in front of the store and more folks who are dressed like the stereotypical suburbanite.

Even at the farmer’s market I am seeing more folks who drive cars and are dressed differently than the people I normally see. Among the chores I had to do this weekend was a trip to get some groceries, so off I went to the International Farmer’s Market in Chamblee. Normally I see an interesting mix of folks at this market, this time I saw more middle class, suburban white folks than I am used to seeing there. They were all over the fresh produce and fruit aisles and to be honest I am actually very happy to see this development. These stores offer the best buys and the produce really is tasty like fresh from a backyard garden. I’m all for supporting independent stores and giving the middle finger to the big chain stores.

People are frugal for only one of two reasons, they want to or they have to. I am trying to live a more frugal lifestyle and I’ve straddled the fence between living more along my means and higher than I should have for years. I seem to go in cycles where I wise in managing my money and blowing it. Blowing it has always led me to feeling depressed after a while. When I reach the cusp of realizing what I am doing I have been able to back down and live a more reasonable lifestyle but by then the damage has already been done. On comes the depression.

I think there is a sudden increase in people who now have to live a more frugal lifestyle and I don’t think they are too happy either. Imagine losing your home and winding up back in an apartment? Imagine going from buying the latest plasma widescreen TV to hitting church and charity thrift stores looking to buy a used washer and dryer? I see those folks shopping at these places, their faces are new, their clothes are new and they drive cars more expensive than my Jeep. They don’t look very happy to be shopping at St. Vinnie’s.

We are being given warning signs by even the mainstream press that the economic downturn is just going to get worse in the upcoming months. I’m not an economist but even I can sense and see things that lead me to believe that we are only seeing the early stages of things getting hard in this country. I have a feeling I’ll be seeing more unhappy folks at the thrift stores. I’ll be there looking for good deals and things I know I can sell on eBay. I’m afraid they will be there not out of choice but out of necessity and that bothers me a lot. To all of the new shoppers at the thrift stores who aren’t happy with this new twist in life all I can tell you is buck it up, it could always be worse and stay out of the record bins. I’m the cat who buys the vintage vinyl for his collection.

Mel Sembler, The CIA, Mind Control and Scientology. What a lovely tea party that makes.

Here is an odd and enlightening set of timelines for a group of notable events. Do the folks of DeKalb county really want someone with such a notorious past, with such unseemly connections, to have such a major impact on the county's future as Mel Sembler might have if the Sembler Company's plans go ahead? Talk about a wild set of parallel connections.

1832 – Skull and Bones is founded at Yale University.

1875 – Beginning in San Francisco, opium trafficking by Chinese immigrants is outlawed in the United States.

1880 – The US and China sign an agreement that prohibits the shipment of opium between both countries.

1914 – The Harrison Narcotic Act is passed into law requiring sellers of opiates to become licensed.

1917 – Prescott Bush tapped for Skull and Bones.

1937 – The Marijuana Tax Act is signed into law.

1948 – George H.W. Bush tapped for Skull and Bones.

1950 – The CIA begins the MKUltra program.

1953 – The Church of Scientology is founded. Founder L. Ron Hubbard forms special Celebrity Centers to cater to and recruit celebrities, musicians, artists, politicians and various professional positions.

1953 – Zapata Oil is founded.

1955 – The Peoples Temple is founded by Reverend Jim Jones in Indianapolis, Indiana.

1958 – Charles Dederich founds Synanon in Santa Monica California. Synanon was created to provide drug addicts with a recovery program. It eventually turns into a cult that used violence and “tough love” against its members/patients.

1961 The Single Convention on Narcotic Drugs, an international treaty banning the illicit manufacture and trafficking of narcotic drugs, is adopted.

1964 – The CIA renames MKUltra to MKSearch.

Mid 60’s through mid 80’s – Future President George W. Bush is reported to have suffered substance abuse problems (alcohol and drugs).

1966 – The Church of Scientology creates NARCONON, a drug rehabilitation program that is based on the writings of Hubbard and was tested on drug abusers in the Arizona State Prison system.

1967 – The Peoples Temple moves from Indianapolis to Redwood Valley, California.

1968 – George W. Bush tapped for Skull and Bones.

Late 60’s and early 70’s – Youth offenders on drug charges are routinely sent to Synanon by court order. Celebrities, musicians and various professionals are recruited and openly invited to Synanon properties and events.

1969 – The State of New Jersey releases a study that shows only 10% to 15% of Synanon’s participants actually end their addictions.

1970 – The Controlled Substances Act of 1970 is signed into law.

Early 70’s – The US Government funds a program known as “The Seed” that follows the tactics and example of Synanon, located in Florida.

Early 70’s – The Peoples Temple makes attempts at becoming mainstream by creating a state licensed facility for developmentally disabled persons, community outreach programs, drug and alcohol abuse treatment programs and Jones’ involvement as a community social and political leader in San Francisco.

1971 – President Richard Nixon coins the phrase, “War on Drugs”

1972 – George H. W. Bush is named Chairman of the Republican National Committee.

1973 – CIA Director Richard Helms orders all MKUltra files destroyed. The US Government claims that the program has ended.

1973 – The Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) is created as a law enforcement agency within the Justice Department as a result of the Controlled Substances Act of 1970. The position of “Drug Czar” is created by President Richard Nixon.

1974 - Filmmaker Robert Altman uses members of Synanon as extras for the making of his film California Split.

1974 – Investigations begin into the inner-workings of Synanon. Cult activities begin to appear at around this time. Women are forced to shave their heads, men were given forced vasectomies and there is a communal lifestyle with multiple compounds in possession of the organization.

1974 – Sen. Sam Ervin presents a report to Congress titled, “Individual Rights and the Federal Role in Behavior Modification”. Among the findings were that programs like The Seed, “begin by subjecting the individual to isolation and humiliation in a conscious effort to break down his psychological defenses.” and such programs are “similar to the highly refined brainwashing techniques employed by the North Koreans in the early 1950’s.” Funding for The Seed is soon cut off.

1975 – Synanon files to revise its tax status, attempting to make itself a church, The Church of Synanon.

1976 – The Church of Scientology locates its “Worldwide spiritual headquarters” in Clearwater Florida. The Church of Scientology has since become a major landowner in the Clearwater area.

1976 – Mel Sembler and Joseph Zappala found a program known as Straight Incorporated, using The Seed as it’s guide and former Seed employees to staff the new company. Funding for the program comes from the same federal agency that funded The Seed. Sembler bases his operations out of Clearwater Florida, also the new home of The Church of Scientology.

1976 – George H.W. Bush becomes the Director of the CIA.

1978 – First reports surface of child abuse at Synanon facilities and the money flow to its founder is exposed. Synanon begins a campaign of threats and physical attacks on outspoken former members and whistle blowers as well as filing lawsuits against media outlets that expose the activities of the organization.

1978 – US Congressman Leo Ryan is among the more than 900 victims of the Jonestown Massacre. Ryan’s assassination at the order of Jim Jones precipitates the ordered mass suicide of the congregation.

1978 – George W. Bush unsuccessfully runs for Congress, campaign managed by brother Neil Bush, who lives in Lubbock, Texas. At the time of this political campaign, John Hinckley Jr. also resides in Lubbock.

1979 – The Church of Scientology incorporates the World Institute of Scientology Enterprises. Among the organizations that later will fall under the WISE umbrella is the Clearwater Business Association.

Late 1970's - Mark David Chapman works with Vietnamese refugees at Fort Chafee Arkansas.

1980 – In an eerie mirroring of the plot of Robert Altman’s classic film Nashville, John Hinckley Jr. is arrested in Nashville on firearms charges. He later admits that he had already formed a plan to assassinate President Jimmy Carter to impress actress Jodie Foster and had come to Nashville because of Carter’s appearance in that city.

1980 – George H.W. Bush announces plans to run for President of the United States. Among his political and financial supporters are John W. Hinckley Sr., Chairman and President of Vanderbilt Energy Corporation, formerly Hinckley Oil.

1980 - George H.W. Bush is elected Vice President of the United States.

1980 – John Lennon is assassinated by Mark David Chapman.

1981 – Assassination attempt on the life of President Ronald Reagan. Would be assassin John Hinckley Jr. is held. On the date of the attempt on Reagan’s life, the brother of John Hinckley Jr., Scott Hinckley, and the son of Vice President Bush, Neil Bush; were scheduled to have dinner together.

1981 – Son of President George H.W. Bush, Jeb Bush; enters the real estate industry in Florida, eventually becoming a partner with Cuban immigrant Armando Cordina. In later years Bush would become a real estate consultant for Cuban exile Miguel Recarey, who assisted the CIA in attempts to assassinate Fidel Castro.

Early 80’s – The CIA provides weapons, training and money to the Mujahideen fighters of Afghanistan during the Soviet occupation. The trained and funded fighters ultimately organize the Taliban, who take control of Afghanistan in 1996 after seizing the capital, Kabul

Early 80’s – The CIA decides to fund their overt war in Afghanistan by assisting in the production and smuggling of opium made from Afghanistan poppy production.

Mid 80’s – Florida developer and co-founder of Straight Incorporated, serves on the White House Conference for a Drug Free America.

1988 – Mel Sembler serves on the National Steering Committee and the national Finance Committee for the Presidential campaign of George H.W. Bush.

1988 – George H.W. Bush is elected as the 41st President of the United States.

1989 – The state of New Jersey bars Synanon from doing business with NJ casinos after it is discovered they had a contract with Showboat Casino to provide a “Motivational program” to it’s employees. Through ADGAP, Synanon also sells about $30,000.00 worth of pens, pencils, key chains and other items.

1989 – The Senate Committee on Foreign Relations reports that members of the State Department provided support for the Contras by the use of drug trafficking.

Early 90’s – Military style “boot camps” for youth offenders become an option for the courts to send troubled kids. A 1997 Justice Department report finds that these boot camp style treatment programs are no more effective than juvenile prisons.

1992 – Bill Clinton defeats George H.W. Bush in the Presidential election. Clinton becomes the 42nd President of the United States.

1992 – The World Literacy Crusade is formed as a non-profit organization devoted to study technologies and drug rehabilitation technologies developed by L. Ron Hubbard.

1993 – Federal funding for Straight Incorporated is halted and the organization goes out of operation. Key employees and staff members immediately create new programs identical to Straight Incorporated and in some cases re-open in the same location as Straight Incorporated. Straight Incorporated becomes the Drug Free America Foundation. Board members of the Drug Free America Foundation include former Florida Governor Jeb Bush.

1994 – One million Americans are incarcerated yearly on drug related offences.

1994 – Republican Mark Foley is elected to Congress. Before being elected to public office, Foley was involved in Florida real estate in the 80’s and later spearheaded Congressional work regarding laws against the sexual exploitation of children.

Mid 90’s – Synanon dies out as an organization.

1997 – Charles Dederich, founder of Synanon, dies.

1997 – The Wall Street Journal reports on the use of Mena, Arkansas in the trafficking of illegal drugs by the Contras, the CIA and the cover-up of these activities by then Arkansas Governor, Bill Clinton.

1997 to 2000 – Mel Sembler operates at the Finance Chairman for the Republican National Committee.

1998 – The CIA Inspector General published a two-volume report that describes the contra and contra-related entities that were involved in drug trafficking and protected by US law enforcement on orders from the Reagan and Bush administration.

2000 – George W. Bush is elected 43rd President of the United States.

2000 – The Taliban issues a decree banning opium poppy cultivation. At the time of the decree, Afghanistan supplied 75% of the world’s supply of opium.

2001 – The US Government gives Afghanistan $48 million dollars for reducing their opium production by 99.89%.

2001 – 9/11 attacks lead to the invasion of Afghanistan.

2001 – The Taliban are chased from power in Afghanistan.

2001 - Mel Sembler named US Ambassador to Italy.

2003 - The infamous forged Nigerian uranium yellowcake documents were reportedly recieved in a Rome apartment by an Itallian agent, Rocco Martino.

2003 – World Wide Association of Specialty Programs (WWASP) reports revenue of $80 million dollars. The WWASP Dundee Ranch Academy in Costa Rica is raided by child welfare authorities. The owner of the facility is arrested on charges of human rights violations.

2003 – Florida Congressman Mark Foley is given a special dinner by the Clearwater Business Association at the FLAG Land Base of the Church of Scientology.

2005 – The cost of waging the “War on Drugs” for the year 2005 totals $12 billion dollars, the cost of incarcerating drug law offenders is $30 billion dollars, $9 billion dollars for police protection, $4.5 billion for the legal expenses and $11 billion for state and federal correctional facilities. The total for all these activities is over $45 billion dollars.

2005 - Mel Sembler heads up the Scooter Libby defense fund raiser efforts. Several million are netted, Scooter walks on the charges after President Bush commutes his sentence.

2006 – The supply of opium from Afghanistan has increased dramatically. Before the rise of the Taliban, Afghanistan supplied 75% of the world’s opium supply. As of 2006 90% of the world’s opium comes from Afghanistan.

2006 – Florida Congressman Mark Foley resigns from his position following a scandal in which he solicited sex from young male Congressional Pages. Foley claims he has an alcohol problem and was molested by a Catholic priest when he was young.

2007 – The Taliban is in resurgence in Afghanistan.

Sembler Co., DeKalb County and the billion dollar disco ball.

Did I ever mention to you that I hate developers, more to the point Atlanta developers, with a passion? I also hate the infill folks and the “urban pioneers” who completely erase the historical legacies of the neighborhoods that they feel they are gracing with their presence, bad taste and bad manners. Cabbagetown is a shell of what it once was, the Oakhurst district is threatened and the newest threat to the way things are is the Sembler Co. looking to redevelop the North Druid Hills Road area just south of I-85.

Sembler has given us a new wrinkle to this mad money grab in the area of the traffic problems. If you have ever driven through that area at rush hour you know how it goes, for those not familiar with what happens here is the 411. If you are heading south on North Druid Hills Road, heading in the direction of North DeKalb Mall, on the worst day traffic will back up at Buford Highway. It’s a stop and go crawl all the way down to the Target Super Store across the street from the school. Traffic will thin out a little until you reach LaVista, where it’s stop and go all the way down to Clairmont. I have no idea how bad it stays past Clairmont but I am assuming it does follow a similar routine all the way down to the mall and Stone Mountain Parkway.

So, what is Sembler’s plan to relieve the already growing congestion to make room for the thousands of cars that will be added because of their billion-dollar project? They want to send the “regional” traffic (folks not stopping at their shrine to greed) underground. Yes, they want to make the rest of us mole people. There is a problem though. Have these knuckleheads ever seen the folks merge from the 85 exit onto N. Druid Hills? Have they ever seen people trying to scoot across 3 lanes of traffic to get onto Briarcliff? They expect us to believe their redesign of the roads will take that into account? Bullshit, I say.

What do they have planned for the “local traffic”, which would be those wanting to stop off at their greed shrine or at the Chik-Fil-A or the Target or Picadilly? Well let’s just throw a roundabout in the mix. These waterheads are convinced that a roundabout will solve all the traffic woes. Have those folks ever driven through a roundabout in America at a heavy traffic intersection? The fuckers don’t work in any way except to keep the auto body shops in business fixing sideswiping idiots.

A Sembler style project can work and be a benefit to the community if it is in the right place. Atlantic Station, for example, did a service to the community by cleaning up an abandoned industrial site and expanded an already expanding Midtown district. The area that Sembler wants to redevelop doesn’t need redevelopment. We need a better traffic plan but the answer isn’t building a billion dollar mixed-use development.

That area has numerous offices, thriving businesses and residential areas. I don’t see Loehman’s Plaza hurting. I don’t see the Picadilly, my favorite one in the Atlanta area, having trouble filling seats on any day or night. Guitar Center is PACKED on any given day. The Chik-Fil-A always has customers. The Target even expanded a few years back because the business is good. There is always a long line of cars at the QT waiting to fill up on their gas.

So, why does Sembler NEED to “redevelop” this area? It’s not needed, it’s unnecessary and it will make a horrible mess of an already congested area. Why does Sembler NEED to redevelop? Simple answer. They aren’t satisfied with just having a shitload of money, they want a king hell shitload of money. A billion dollar investment is one hell of a risk to take, especially in this economic downturn, and if they are willing to risk it they must have studies and reports sitting in their offices that show they can make a killing by doing a quick fuck job on the citizens of DeKalb County.

If you think this redevelopment plan is a good idea I think you need to talk with the folks who have seen how the Perimeter Center development has adversely affected the folks who live and work around that area. If you aren’t convinced you need to also ask yourself what is going to happen if this plan goes through and all the warnings you have been given come true. How would it even be possible to repair the sort of damage they want to do? How is DeKalb County going to pay for the upkeep of those tunnels they want to build?

If you think it’s a good idea, WHY do you think it’s a good idea? Is it because you want new places to shop? Go to Buckhead and shop, its only 15 minutes further away. Is it because you want the development to increase your property values? If your property values are so strongly tied to local commercial investments you should have moved your happy ass to Buckhead or Midtown and NOT the bedroom communities that surround this area. Is it simply because your easily distracted by shinny things? If that’s the case buy a disco ball and stare at it all you want.

Even Satan hates developers and McMansion dwellers

Greased palms keep the gears of capitalism turning and all of us know that. To think otherwise, that big political donations don’t have a positive effect for the givers of such contributions, is foolish, deceitful and naive. Does big business give money away to politicians as though they were charity, just to be nice? No, they do not. Do they do it simply because they “like” someone’s political stance? No, they do not. They do it to buy favor even if favors are not explicitly promised since such a promise would make the contribution a bribe and illegal.

We rarely get to see this process exposed to the light of day. Even with campaign laws written so that we can search for political contributions, sometimes online, we rarely look to see who is giving money to whom. I fall into that category as well, and when I have searched I mostly do not recognize the names of the contributors. Occasionally our media will expose some of this and we are left to consider the ramifications. Today’s Atlanta Journal-Constitution has a story that lays out how a major developer is greasing the palms of DeKalb county officials to get what they want.

I cannot say these county officials have taken bribes by the developer, but I can say that this smells fishy and the appearance of improper conditions for campaign contributions are the first thing I think of. Can they really maintain integrity and an unbiased view when they vote for this thing? I can’t say that the developer has given them bribes, but I will say that it certainly smells fishy to me that a Florida based developer, who is facing a major downturn in the Florida real estate market, would donate thousands upon thousands of dollars to county officials in DeKalb County, Georgia; who just happen to hold the yes or no vote on a project that will make millions for them and contribute nothing positive to the quality of life in the area they wish to redevelop. It will in fact turn an already busy and thriving area, which suffers from horrible traffic gridlock, into an even larger traffic nightmare and it will destroy and transform yet another former suburban district into the new Mecca for the greedy and tasteless of Atlanta.

The North Druid Hills corridor that they wish to redevelop is an area I am highly familiar with, in fact I will be moving back to Decatur in a few weeks, away from the worst mistake I ever made which was moving to Sandy Springs in 2002. I will in fact be living on North Druid Hills Road, and their project will indeed effect me. I am intimately familiar with the area targeted for redevelopment and I already have a major experience dealing with a similar development to which is planned by the Sembler Co.

I live a little more than a mile from the Perimeter Place development in Dunwoody and that development has totally fucked the area in terms of traffic and quality of life. Before that development was begun, driving through the connector roads that slice across the northern side of Perimeter was the perfect means of getting around the plug of traffic associated with the mall and the many office towers that are clustered in the area. Now the area is hopelessly plugged with traffic, the task of running errands is useless, as the development has created a third bottleneck for the flow of traffic. The other bottlenecks are the location and heavy traffic of Perimeter Mall and the layout of the cross connecting roads themselves as they were designed in an “S” shape for their entire length and not as straight thoroughfares.

The Perimeter Place development will be nothing when compared to the monstrosity that is planned for the area between I-85 and Briarcliff on North Druid Hills Road. The Sembler development will destroy affordable housing in the form of apartments on Briarcliff. Affordably priced apartments within a few mile radius of the development will suddenly become “fashionable” and the average working man and woman will have to move to yet another affordable apartment complex. The neighborhoods of the area, which have been shattered by the trashy infill buyers and developers will finally be ruined as the last of the greedy with no tastes will want to scoop up the remaining ranch house properties to make them McMansion hell.

Sembler will in effect, destroy the final vestiges of a neighborhood and a district all for their profit. The average citizen is being chased away by greedy and tasteless fucks who have a shitload of money and absolutely no common sense, human decency or good taste. Sembler is not interested in the common good for the citizens of DeKalb County, it is not interested in the community itself and it is not interested in the long-term quality of life for the residents of DeKalb County. Sembler is only concerned with one fucking thing, making a bigger pile of cash and fuck anyone who stands in their way.

Sembler has no interest in the fair and honest workings of the local government, they do not give a shit who takes their money all they want is for those who accept their money to vote in their favor. Sembler is the epitome of what is fucking wrong in this country as whole, the greedy want more and the average citizen who is in their way gets trampled over and to ease their way through the system they give fucking cold hard cash to politicians as their means of exercising their first amendment rights.

If DeKalb County officials allow this travesty to happen, we can say without doubt that mere trinkets and baubles distracted them into selling the rest of us out; and the price was just a few grand. I wonder how easy it is for the Sembler execs to blow through the same amount of money that they have already donated to the Dekalb officials. Their monthly greens fees are probably cost more than what they slid into the pockets of these officials.

Richard Jewel and random memories of the 90's. It's 11 o'clock, do you know where your kooks are?

In many ways, for me at least, much of the 90’s seem to be a slow blur. Moments pop out at me when I look back, many good and many bad. An entire inner-connected series of memories have come back to me over the last two days with the passing of Richard Jewel. Jewel, you may remember, was the security guard at the Atlanta Olympic games whom the FBI attempted to scapegoat after the Centennial Olympic Park bombing.

In the summer of ’96 I was living out in the country but still a short drive into Atlanta. I watched those Olympic games and how they affected Atlanta, from afar. On the night of the bombing I was watching TV and followed the news reports closely, switching between the four local news stations and ESPN’s coverage. In the days after the bombing, when Jewel was rightly identified as a hero, I was happy to see what appeared to be a regular Georgia “country boy” making good in the city. That feel good moment was dashed only days later when the feds leaked the information to the news organizations that Jewel was the prime suspect.

One thing you develop as you get older is a prime eye for telling what is real and what is not real when it comes to people. In the case of Jewel, it was obvious the feds were lying. Their MO sounded credible until you looked at the man and how he was holding up to the insane media pressure. I wasn’t the only one who felt he was being railroaded. My co-workers, all of them “country smart” could see that something wasn’t right and that he was innocent. Jewel was eventually cleared and the investigation appeared to have reached a brick wall.

When I first moved to Atlanta we seemed to be the center of a lunatic bomber’s attention. The Olympic Park bombing, the Otherside Lounge bombing, the Sandy Springs abortion clinic bombing were making all of us more than a little uncomfortable with what was happening and where they would strike next. I remember several long lunchtime and water cooler conversations we had about who the killer could be. My pet theory was that we had a crazy redneck that was driving into town to kill Atlantans, but I was certain it was a Georgian.

When the Birmingham bombing killed a police officer and horribly injured a nurse in early ’98 all of the people I knew raised their eyebrows with attention. It was pretty obvious that the nut that was setting off bombs here in town was at work in Birmingham. The only question most of us had was whether or not the bomber lived in west Georgia or east Alabama.

When Eric Rudolph was announced as the prime suspect, all seemed to fall in place. Rudolph could be a poster child of the things that were wrong about us as a people in the 90’s and he was one of the precursor warnings of the type of lunatic fringe American that we would all see post-9/11. In a decade that gave us the Oklahoma City bombing and Eric Rudolph, we had more than enough signs of what we have become. The lunatics who weren’t satisfied with simply firebombing abortion clinics so they moved on to bombing them and killing abortion Doctors are the type of person who maintains the systems of control and power in America today.

I live in a large American city, with an international airport and high visibility facilities such as the CDC and the Federal Reserve. I am not at all worried about Islamic terrorists blowing my ass up. It’s possible but I think I am far more likely to be struck by lightning or win the lottery than to be killed by a terrorist in the city I live. I am, however, still worried about right wing extremists in America. I am, in effect, afraid of my own people. I admit this one day after posting an angrily worded entry regarding fear in America, so I do understand how this can be considered a hypocritical statement.

These extremists have always been here in this country. The south has always been the stereotypical home ground for such lunatics but don’t let that assumption steer you in the wrong direction. At the height of the popularity of the Ku Klux Klan, the largest population of members was not found in the south; Indiana was the state that boasted the highest concentration of Klansmen. Those extremists are not only down here; they are in your town too.

In the 90’s we had the rare opportunity to see these people up close and personal. We saw the militia movements and were able to hear the ideas of extreme nationalism that permeate throughout their communities. We saw the radical Christian identity movement followers who rationalize death and murder by killing abortion providers, homosexuals and non-Christians. We saw the far right anti-government radicals such as Randy Weaver and Eric Rudolph. But we also saw a more open and less afraid government who was willing to go to equally extreme ends with citizens who frightened it.

In the 90’s we had the chance to see our government up close and personal as well. The massacre at Waco, the Ruby Ridge calamity and strangeness surrounding the Oklahoma City bombing all added to a certain mistrust of the government. We instantly forgot all about those events, those radicals and those capabilities when the 9/11 attacks occurred. The faux-patriotism and “pride” in America swept through this nation in a way that was not purely spontaneous. The only genuine responses that we had to the attacks were gone within days of the attacks. Was anyone really acting “changed” when October 11 came around?

The death of Richard Jewel should be our reminder to us of what the government will do to an innocent person and Eric Rudolph should be a reminder that we have lunatics among us that compare unequivocally with the most extreme Middle East elements and are the product of America itself. Greed, hate, mistrust, fear, the lust for power and a narrow worldview are the food of American terrorists.

Sociopath Tuesday! Politicians, athletes and the big toe of Big Brother!

There is simply too much going on right now to pick a single subject. Within the last 24 hours there has been the resignation of AG Alberto Gonzalez, another senior GOP Senator has been thrust into a sex scandal, Michael Vick apologists have been in over drive and there has been a curious media blackout regarding the murder of the former leader of the GOP in Georgia. It’s just too much to digest and sift through in one sitting.

AG Gonzalez, the man who never met a spy program he didn’t love, will be trying to outrun possible perjury charges for lying before the Senate Judiciary Committee. Of course the Democrats will capitulate and not seek those charges, nor will they ever seek to bring to justice the liars and un-American bastards who have led our nation into a deep, dark sewer over the past 6 years. Gonzo will head back to Texas with the blessings of his President after a brief tenure as the head of the Justice Department and a history that will show him to have been the most destructive and least protective AG in the history of that cabinet position.

Senator Larry Craig of Idaho once again shows me that maybe the really wild sex fiends are the members of the Republican Party. I have no problem with the homosexual community, gays and lesbians are just regular folks trying to get by and live their lives too, in my eyes. I feel sorry for closeted gays who cannot tell the world how they really feel. However, I have no sympathy or patience for a hypocrite like Craig, who maligns and demonizes the gay community, all the while he is looking for kinky public sex in an airport. If Sen. Craig were to just come out and tell us that he does indeed suck dick and he was wrong for demonizing the gay culture and wrong for repressing his true sexuality, I’ll jump on the man’s bandwagon and back him 100%. Instead we get another bullshit lie that his toilet stance is a bit “wide legged”.

Speaking of lies, Michael Vick, the disgraced former star athlete is now getting the coddling he so desperately wanted all because he finally admits his guilt for torturing animals for the sheer pleasure of it. Hey Vick, I forgive you since you admit that you did it. Now, how about working on atoning for your cruelty and show us some action instead of words on how you will re-enter society as a normal human being. It’s not simply enough to say I’m sorry. You have to do a little more than that. I’m sorry only works when a 5-year-old get’s caught sneaking cookies out of the jar.

It’s was not “immature” what you did to those dogs, as you so innocently described it, it was inhuman, vicious and anti-social. MV7, I hope you realize that psychologists have found a link between children who torture animals and serial killers. Prove to us that you can contribute to society instead of producing more pain and suffering like you did and then we can start talking about you taking snaps again. You have a serious mental condition to not see the torture of animals to be disturbed behavior. To the apologists, leave the man’s dick alone and stop sucking it like it was candy. He fucked up and all the excuses you can muster do not make it all right. It’s not about race and it’s not about the victims being “just dogs” and it’s not about other crimes not being hotly prosecuted by the feds. It is about acceptable behavior in a civilized society. If you find nothing wrong with his actions or still believe in him regardless of what he has confessed to; please seek psychiatric help. You have a serious sociopath condition and need medical attention.

As for the murder of the former head of the Georgia GOP, Raphael Gonzalez, it’s difficult to gauge what did happen and the cause. Gonzalez was murdered along with another man in a 3-person murder suicide down in Orange County Florida. Even the Atlanta media has been tight lipped about this and only trickles of info have come out. What is known is that Gonzalez and the other victim were roommates in a house that was owned by Gonzalez. The killer was a former roommate and Marine, who took his own life after murdering them.

Strange tidings on this Tuesday morning. Sometimes there is too much for your paranoid blogger to fully comprehend and write about. I’m sure my ADD and OCD predisposition do not help.

"Big Brother is helping." - Eldrin fucking Bell is still an idiot par excellence

(NOTE: For folks looking for my comments on the latest news about Big Brother's Little Helper, Eldrin fuckin' Bell; here is the link: http://theconspiratorsnest.blogspot.com/2008/07/titties-guns-and-butts-county-eldrin.html )

If this doesn’t just take the cake. Twice in one week we have seen metropolitan Atlanta officials thumbing their noses at any thought of civil liberties for its citizens. First it was the idea of controlling the masses by restricting the style of clothing a person can wear, now we have former Atlanta Chief of Police Eldrin Bell wanting to do mass background checks on it’s citizens by demanding all landlords in Clayton county turn over the lease agreements with their renters to the county.

Bell argues that an unsavory population has been dumped on Clayton County by the Atlanta Housing Authority and in an attempt to clean up the streets he wants to basically spy on every single house and apartment renter in Clayton County to see who is living there, under what conditions and report back to the landlord whether their renter has been naughty or nice. For those not from Atlanta, if you have ever traveled to the Atlanta airport, Clayton County is the area immediately south of the airport. If you could roll down the window next to your seat and chuck an empty Coke bottle, you’d be tossing it into Clayton County.

Bell’s comments on this are actually terrifying, "This is not to say Big Brother is watching," he insisted. "It says Big Brother is helping." The folks in Clayton county need to seriously address the lunatic ramblings of Bell and get his ass out of office. Don’t say you had no idea he was a nut, you all watched him on the evening news for years when he was the Atlanta Police Chief. Bell’s desire is proof positive that bastards who wield power are never satisfied until they have probed and prodded every single corner of control. There is only one distinction between dictators, are they large or are they small?

Will someone down in Clayton County please take the bottle away from the lips of Eldrin Bell, I think he is drunk enough with the power and doesn’t need more.

Hey kids, rock and roll. Nobody tells you where to go, baby.

I’m a fatality on the side of the fashion highway and I’m too damn old to want to dress like a twenty-something. The baggy pants culture has mystified me since it began, especially when baseball players began wearing their pants as though they were track pants but, to each his/her own. Now the kids have attracted the faceless bureaucrats and power mad creatures that lurk in the halls of government.

Atlanta City Councilman C.T. Martin has sponsored an amendment to the city’s indecency laws that will target clothing styles in which the wearer’s undergarments are exposed. Under fire would be baggy pants worn by young men and boys as well as styles favored by some young women and girls where their bra strap or the strap of their thong is exposed. Of course this amendment will get shot down for it’s extremist idea but the seed is planted. The tree expected to bear fruit is one of control over you and I and powerlessness to defend ourselves against an oppressive state.

I hate to say this but we have evil fucking rednecks all over the place that detest the baggy pants hip-hop culture styles that have found their way out to suburbia. It’s not because they don’t like the style or because they are too old to “get it” the anger and hatred is much more simple to understand. The stereotypical young, urban, and black thug epitomize this style. Don’t think for one second that we in the south have a monopoly on ignorant rednecks. Some of the biggest rednecks I ever met lived in Connecticut. Ignorance and hate know no geographical boundaries.

The point is this amendment will get support from the super radicalized extremists of both the left and the right. This leaves the other 60% to 80% of us asking ourselves what in God’s name does the city government have to do with policing the clothing we chose to wear or express ourselves with? The ultimate resting place for this amendment is in our minds. It is a reinforcement we have to subconsciously process. The government, ultimately, controls everything about you and your life and if it chooses to, it controls what you can and cannot wear.

A few years ago the City Council passed amendments to chase homeless people off the streets. They criminalized panhandling and began rounding up and shipping violators all over the metro area. Why did they do this? Complaints from the forces of downtown gentrification who were offended by the homeless asking for help. Some went as far as to say the homeless would “get pushy” sometimes. The idiocies of statements like that don’t even need to be addressed, they are self-evident.

Homeless rights advocates fought back but the groundswell was too much for them to overcome. Now, you are a criminal in Atlanta if you have no home and try to ask for money or help from folks on the street. The Atlanta Police Department will take you to jail for it. Now, a City Councilman doesn’t like the way young people dress, so he wants to amend the laws to absorb his fashion sense. What is next? If I wear a t-shirt down near the capitol that mocks our Governor’s “Sonny Do” list, will I spend nights in lockup at the Fulton County jail? If I put a bumper sticker on my car stating that Police Chief Pennington needs to go back to New Orleans, will my car be impounded and will I suddenly find myself in the backseat of a patrol car, at the mercy of the cop who is offended by my exercise of free speech?

Time and time again we have seen the rights of decent, regular Americans stomped on because they had something negative to say about their leaders. The current masters of government have turned it into an art form. To be honest, I wonder if I will ever get a visit at my front door for what I write here in this blog. We all know that all of our email, web traffic and phone calls are being monitored by the agents of our government. We are at their mercy because we allowed them to take control of our lives.

First they will tell us what we cannot do. They will tell us we cannot question authority, we cannot dress a certain way, we cannot say certain things. Once we are beaten down far enough, and live in constant fear and dread for the government targeting us for seemingly innocent “violations” of their codes, we are then ready for them to begin the real "control" phase. The final phase of control is not to tell us what we cannot do; it is the phase where our behavior is guided based on the mandates of government. Government sanctioned clothing, government-sanctioned entertainment and government sanctioned lives for its citizens.

Ookie, Ookie, lend me your comb.

The story of Michael Vick is oddly absent from a lot of Atlanta bloggers right now. For sports and animal rights bloggers he’s still a main source of subject material but the folks who blog about daily life in Atlanta are generally ignoring him. Considering this story hits two areas that I have a major interest in (sports and our treatment of animals as a society) I think I finally need to chime in on this.

Let me begin by saying that I have been a constant cheerleader for Vick. I’ve made excuses for his behavior and performance over the years. The Rolex incident was easily brushed aside in my point of view. The “coach killer” comments by Jim Mora Sr. were sour grapes from a protective Father in my eyes. At every step of the way I defended him.

When he couldn’t seem to get the ball down and into the arms of his receivers I always wrote it off to excitement and nerves, he was just overly eager. He was overthrowing the ball not because of a lack of skill; it was all because of basic human nature and his ambition to win. When he had trouble reading a receiver’s route and didn’t throw it to where the receiver would ultimately be, even under heavy coverage, like a quarterback should be able to do even in college, I wrote it off as a failure of the coaching staff in not emphasizing the fundamentals of the game. None of it was ever Vick’s fault in my eyes.

The only problems I had really had with the direction of the team since 2002 was that I didn’t like the way Dan Reeves was treated when he was fired. I really believed that Reeves should have been kept and that Reeves seemed to have a better grasp on how to get wins with Vick than Mora ever did, or will, know. I didn’t like the lack of interest in building a stronger defense, especially in light of the injuries we’ve had in recent years.

In other words, I was a typical hometown fan of my team. I’ve followed this team since before Steve Bartkowski joined in the mid-70’s. I’ve suffered through the June Jones era, Jerry Glanville’s “California State Champions Trophy” and William Andrews blown knee. I’ve loved a place kicker who was a bartender, Jamal Anderson’s massive Earl Campbell-ian thighs and a gang of thugs who thrilled us with the Grits Blitz.

Another side of my life

In 1997 I became an ethical vegetarian. I’m not a stereotypical Birkenstock wearing vegetarian. I am a convert from an entirely different lifestyle than what most vegetarians come from. I’m a former hunter and fisherman. Other than elk and moose I have hunted for, killed and eaten just about any animal you can think of. I was a very skilled and effective hunter. As a fisherman I was the sort of person who could get the limit almost every time. There are pictures of me even as a small boy where I am holding up a stringer of huge bream and crappie.

My conversion from one lifestyle to another happened on a Saturday morning when I was in a tree stand on the edge of a field that I knew a herd of deer would be crossing soon. I saw a sunrise that I had never seen before and a thought entered my mind that had never been thought of by me before. I suddenly realized that nothing should be killed by me that morning and I should not take the life of another one of God's creatures that morning. With a rainbow of color blistering the morning sky, and a field that was literally frosting over from dew to ice in front of my eyes, I crawled down from the tree stand and went into a long process of thought about what happened to me in that tree stand.

Within weeks I went from a hunter to a vegetarian. I first thought that I shouldn’t kill that morning. I then realized my family or I would not go hungry if I stopped hunting and therefore I had no right to kill a living creature for food. I ultimately decided that no living creature should ever die just to provide me with food or clothing. 10 years later I still do not eat meat, wear leather or use products tested on animals. I’m healthy, I look younger than my actual age of 41 and I can kick ass almost as good as I did 10 years ago.

When the story of Vick’s cousin being arrested for drugs and there was suspicion of dog fighting at his house was announced I was ready to once again hook up the Vick love train. But the Humane Society said that they had heard rumors about Vick’s involvement in dog fighting for many years. The Humane Society isn’t a left field organization; they exist only to ensure that animals are properly treated. They have never gone to the extremes that PETA does. PETA, for all the good they do, shoot themselves in the foot and drive away people who may be sympathetic to the cause, in my opinion, with their crude and brash behavior.

My reaction to the indictment, and the level of reactions from other NFL players, is simple. I cannot find it in my spirit to ever watch another professional football game again. Too many players like Portis and Horn have said things that show me where the minds and hearts of the current flock of players is coming from. To them and the Vick defenders all he is guilty of is doing something stupid, getting caught.

This isn’t betting on boxing, or illegal fighting between two people. This is an involvement in forcing living creature to fight when they have no other option. If they won’t fight or they fight poorly, they are executed in a cruel fashion through electrocution or hanging. How we treat the vulnerable and weak, the lesser among us, is the truest reflection of our soul. You don’t have to love animals to understand that treating them this way is wrong, you only need to be a person who understand right and wrong, cruel and loving, human and inhuman, good and evil.

People are throwing out the race card. Race isn’t a part of this. Had it been Keith Brooking I would have been equally disgusted and my reaction would have been no different. People are throwing out the innocent until guilty line. That’s bullshit too. The actual line is “presumed innocent until proven guilty.” And that only applies to a court of law. This is the court of public opinion and there are too many things that make me realize he is as guilty as sin. I don’t have to presume Michael Vick innocent of any goddamn thing.

The man had the world in his hands. He had a fortune in money, which could have been turned from riches into real wealth. He could have become a leader of men and a better man in the process that was inherent in the position he earned as a gifted athlete. He had a city that was willing to stand by his side no matter what happened on the field and very little of his off field antics swayed us against him. He blew it all and he blew it for one thing. He blew it because he received pleasure at watching two of God’s creatures tear each other to shreds in forced fights. He blew it because that pleasure wasn’t enough, when those creatures didn’t please him he killed them by hanging them, electrocuting them and even slamming the body of one to the ground.

Athletes these days are fond of praising their success by claiming it’s all due to the power of Jesus Christ. When they fail they point their finger at the coaches, their teammates, the press and the fans. Hypocrisy is rampant in American society today. The hypocrisy of the modern athlete and the world they operate in is just as sordid as what we see in Washington. I can no longer provide voluntary support for an activity that works in this way. The NFL is in trouble and Commissioner Goodell needs to prepare himself for more Michael Vicks and more Pacman Jones. He has inherited a snake’s den.

Harbin speaks out - Expresses regret to the family of the utility pole he destroyed.

(photo of Rep. Harbin courtesy of the House website, I have no idea if he has a tall boy Budweiser in his hands out of frame. Anyone know what Harbin's favorite drink happens to be?)


Rep. Ben Harbin, the chairman of one of the most powerful committees in the Georgia State House, has finally issued a statement about his DUI arrest following a 1 AM car crash on Memorial Drive last Sunday morning. Excerpts from his statement with my comments accompanying them:

"Obviously, I would like to express regret over my accident on Sunday,"

Translation – Damn, I hated wrecking that car.

"I would also like to express my gratitude for the overwhelming support and
concern I've received from my family and friends."

Translation – My family and friends are now worried about my political viability and have talked with me about what in the hell I’m going to do now.

"I am thankful to God that I was not injured,"

Translation – Whew! That was a close call. What? Shouldn’t I be glad that I didn’t kill an innocent person when I wrecked? Hell no. Anyone who’s out on Memorial Drive at 1 AM on a Sunday can’t be up to something good. If I had hit ‘em, well, let’s just say my legal bills would be a bit more pricey.

"I pledge to continue my public service to my District and the people of
Georgia."

Translation – Resign from office? Are you nuts! This is one cushy job and I ‘aint givin' it up until ya’ll run me off.

News - The depressing round-up of today's news stories

A daily dose of doom and gloom to get us in the mood for the Memorial Day weekend. So much is happening right now it’s tough to keep track of who’s batting, let alone who is on deck:

As I type this posting, former DoJ official Monica Goodling is testifying before the Senate Judiciary Committee. The AP has reported this morning that Goodling broke down into tears in the office of a colleague shortly after the brouhaha over the fired US Attorneys broke, saying, "All I ever wanted to do was serve this president and this administration and this department," My only thoughts over this revelation are that it’s a sweet sentiment to have, hon, but the DoJ is a traditionally non-political and independent department from the White House. Goodling can squirt tears over her unrequited adoration of the President but I wonder how she would feel knowing that her slavish devotion to a man and not her nation or her sworn oath has damaged this country. I think Monica needs to spend more time at match.com than trying to please a sociopathic President.

The Democrats not only failed in their attempt to end the war in Iraq, they also rolled over and allowed the President to see their soft underbelly too. No word on whether or not he scratched their bellies. The President has infamously stated that being the President is hard work, now the Democratic leadership has proven to me once again that doing the only moral thing they can do as representatives of our nation, end the war in Iraq, is hard work if you aren’t willing to take responsibility. Don't go on Meet the Press and tell us we need a bipartisan plan, damnit we need to end that miserable lie and failure that is Iraq and try to pump the water out of this sinking ship called America. If you folks in DC don't have a pair give me a call. I'll loan my cajones out to you for a few weeks as long as they don't come back shaven or pierced.

In what can only be described as an overt threat, nine warships, including two aircraft carriers, entered the Persian Gulf yesterday for “training” in the full light of day. We now have three aircraft carriers in that sandy bottom bathtub known as the Persian Gulf. Transiting the Straits of Hormuz is tricky and dangerous to begin with. Masking operational intentions and maintaining OpSec has always looked at a nighttime transit of the Strait as a necessity. Doing so in broad daylight, in formation and with such sensitive ships as carriers is a pure double-dog dare you move by this administration and a terrifying scenario waiting to happen. The stakes are far too high and tensions too strained for this sort of bullshit bravado by the sociopaths of Washington. This story actually gives me chills and it worries me a great deal.

Gas is..well..gas is like a Mylar “Happy Birthday” balloon that has broken loose and is soaring higher and higher.

The melamine and cyanuric acid story is off the radar. Apparently Americans think it’s okay and safe, otherwise, why would we be able to eat off Melamine plates if it wasn’t safe?

Barry Bonds is 10 dingers away from tying the Home Run record set by the great and beloved Henry Aaron. Aaron, I believe can be argued, was the greatest all-around pure hitter the sport has ever seen. This paper argues that it’s ok to root for Bonds, after all, he is innocent until proven guilty. I say bullshit because we the fans aren’t a sequestered jury and that defense just doesn't cut the mustard unless you are a lawyer or on trial. Bonds did the juice and we all know it so let's stop making excuses for him and call the damn strikes and balls like we see them. This pussy-footing around the issue insults the intelligence of even the casual fan and is a slap in the face for lifelong fans who have followed the sport for decades. Henry Aaron is still a great leader and has been a true gem as a pillar of the community in Atlanta since retiring from the sport. I’d wash Mr. Aaron’s car and not ask for a tip or recognbition. I wouldn’t let Bonds pump my gas.

Michael Vick has morphed from miracle working hero of Atlanta football into the worst kind of trash imaginable. If only Steve Bartkowski were 25 again.

On a positive note, Memorial Day weekend is upon us and the two greatest race spectacles known to man will be run, the Grand Prix of Monaco and the Indianapolis 500. My weekend will be spent at home this year, saving gas, watching the two races, doing damage to my “to be read” stack of books and posting to the blog. Hurry up and get here Friday!

I always miss the better parties

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) -- A 400-pound gorilla escaped from his enclosure and ran amok in a Rotterdam zoo Friday, biting one woman, dragging her around, and causing panic among dozens of visitors before he was finally subdued, officials and a witness said. The Diergaarde Blijdorp zoo was evacuated and the 11-year-old gorilla, named Bokito, was eventually contained in a restaurant within the park, police spokeswoman Yvette de Rave said. Four people were injured, including the woman who was bitten, zoo director Ton Dorrestijn said.

Too bad that I always miss the great rampaging gorilla parties. I usually wind up at some dive in Doraville sitting between these two. As the Atlanta Rhythm Section used to sing, New York is fine, but it 'aint Doraville.