Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Item #1 on the Sonny-Do list -- Pray that the Razorbacks whup the Vols.

For years I thought we Georgians would never see a Governor as lazy as Joe Frank Harris. Governor Harris, while intending to do good things, couldn’t have gotten less done during his tenure in office even if he had slept 23 hours a day. Yes, his education reforms were positive at the time and we have the Georgia Dome, but that’s about it for Governor Harris’ legacy. Now we have a real malingerer residing in the Governor’s Mansion. Sonny Purdue’s mastery of laziness is so powerful that when I recently drove down West Paces Ferry Road, I had to pull into the shopping center at the intersection of Northside Drive and take a nap. It's as though simple geographic proximity to the Governor will induce a deep state of lazy bones.

Other than trying to sue the living shit out of the Army Corp of Engineers and giving us an idea of how high the IQ’s of the Governor’s of Alabama and Florida really are when compared to his, Sonny has done little more of late than schlump his way through a prayer vigil for rain. Instead of action and leadership, Sonny will bow his head and pray for rain. I guess it’s easier for him to ask God for rain than it is for him to lead the state through this crisis. Now don’t get me wrong, I may be a member of the Church of No Permanent Abode but I do have faith and I am not mocking prayer or believers. The thought of our Governor wasting his time in a glad-handing public display rather than addressing the problem and making hard choices is just too ripe for me to pass up.

If we get a big gulley washer and the reservoirs all over the southeast fill to the brim, does this mean Sonny has favored son status with the Almighty? If that is the case, why did Sonny wait so long before he prayed for rain? If the prayer thing backfires and the drought worsens, does this mean Sonny is on God’s bad side? Should the Governor pray for something more attainable? For instance, how about a loss by Tennessee this weekend and a UGA win over Auburn? Can he get more mileage by praying that McKay and Blank can shore up the offensive line?

I’ll be praying today. I won’t be praying for rain, I’ll be praying that these stupid elected officials like Sonny Perdue don’t flush the damn toilet that this country is sitting in. I’ll pray to see a PSA on TV, with a brown and sun scorched lawn in front of the Governor’s Mansion and our bald headed, chubby boy named Sonny telling all Georgians that we have to rethink how we use this finite and precious resource known as water. I’ll pray that Bonaire’s favorite son will not embarrass us more than he already has.

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