Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Quitting smoking - Day 3 - Crying jags and holier than thou assholes

I’m so tired. Man, I’m beat. I think the worst of the cravings for a smoke are gone now. Dear Lord, I hope they are. I actually don’t want a smoke today and I am not thinking about smoking with nearly as much frequency as yesterday. I am, however, tired, sleepy and depressed with wild and vivid dreams occurring. Last night I had a sensation of tears welling up in my eyes, like I was going to get all weepy and go on a crying jag like a little girl, for no apparent reason. This sucks big wieners.

My sense of taste is still not back but more strongly flavored things such as coffee, hard candy and chocolate are becoming more complex in flavor to me again. My sense of smell returns in spurts. I still have the jitters too. My hands and fingers are always moving and I can’t stop them. I must look like a mess. Oh yeah, I have a headache too and I’m all wheezy, like an asthmatic in the middle of a field of blooming wild flowers.

Considering what we know is a fact regarding what the tobacco industry does to hook and keep us hooked on smokes, is there any reason you should doubt that conspiracy theories are very real? They’ve tweaked the chemicals that they add to the tobacco over the years to create a scientific method of inducing extreme addiction. They denied this for years and kept it secret, which turns it into conspiracy fact, but in the end we all know what they have done.

I wish that smoking were healthy and not addictive. If it were, I’d still be smoking the Pall Malls whenever I wished. This shit is not healthy and I am such a hopeless cigarette junkie. I mean, Jesus H. Christ…I was smoking un-filtered Pall Malls, almost two packs a day, for almost a decade and Marlboro Reds, two packs a day for almost two decades. I have no fucking will power with smokes and I am going to struggle with it long after the physical effects have left me.

To those who still smoke, I will never, ever be one of those pinched face rat bastards who judge you. I know what it’s like to be hopelessly hooked and I know the physical pleasure that a smoke does indeed give…within seconds. All I can tell you is if you want to quit, get the nicotine gum (store brand to save dinero) and get ready for a crazy ride on the back of a bronco when you kick. If you want support, write me. I get it, I am one of you, I know how hard this shit really is.

To all those pinched face rat fucking bastards who do judge smokers, go fuck yourselves! Your little condescending attitude is horseshit and no one gives a fuck about what you think or about you! Lick my hairy balls and drop fucking dead! Go live with the Mormons and you cats can suck each other off like good little prunes and crones. This is some tough shit to get through and if you are high and mighty about the process it tells me you don’t know the first fucking thing about addiction. Piss off, eat shit and die, etc…Seriously, get bent. Your judgement of smokers if fucked and I don't give two fucks for what you think about smokers.

Can you tell I’ve already reamed one of those types of people today? Assholes...all of them are assholes.

19 comments:

The CT Blogger said...

I swear to fucking God, you Chantrix spammers are the fucking bane of writing a Goddamn post about quitting smoking. I just deletd the third or fourth of your comments spamming the shit out of your meds.

Anonymous said...

as a person who cannot stop crying on day 4 of using a lozenge, not the gum, but that nicotine replacement shit, after smoking for 30 years...thanks dude! I needed a rant! I literally miss smoking, what the hell is wrong with me? I know it will kill me, it costs $2500 plus per year & everyone treats smokers as nasty....so why do i do it? will the cravings ever end?

beejaydixon said...

It's almost midnight and I was thinking of getting in the car and buying a pack. Having read your rant at non smokers I now feel someone understands how I feel on day 5 of my quit. I really love your anger. I too will NEVER put someone down while fighting an addition. Thanks!

to blog said...

Love this post. Day 3 for me, using the patch. Would have bailed on that method, but I have a 3 year old and it's not a real good thing to be edgy around the wee ones... at least not the kind of edgy this can produce. Thanks for your blog, though it's been awhile. I really needed to read it.

Anonymous said...

I quit smoking just over 7 months ago, cold turkey, and your description of Hell Week (first week of quitting) AND those fucking holier than thou nonsmokers and reformed ex-smokers is one of the most eloquent and accurate pieces I've read recently. But please don't insult rats, OK? :-)

Anonymous said...

OMG I am so glad I found this. I have quit cold turkey and today is day 14 for me. What a freaking nightmare this has been! I never want to endure this again. I have always believed that after 3 days it was over. NOPE....DON'T BELIEVE IT! It has been 2 weeks and i still can't sleep, cry constantly for no reason and many other symptonms. This Blows!! My husband quit smoking with Chantix and says,
well you should be honme free after 2 weeks what r u complaining about?
I feel like strangling him when he says that. He had Chantix and I have nothing. That Bastard.
Hmmm Do I sound Angry? God I hope thios gets better.

Anonymous said...

I feel like such a baby reading this. I've only been smoking for about 2 years. And only like 2 packs a week. And trying to quit seems so hard. But I could only imagine how hard it is for you guys. It's only been 2 days for me. And I feel like I'm gonna die

sharon said...

I am on day 15 and I think I love you. This post was just what I needed. Thank you for being a smartass potty mouth...I wanted to burst into tears before reading this, but now I feel like you, and every other quitter, are my kindred spirits. I don't want to smoke anymore, I just want to stop hating everyone and feeling the urge to go on a shooting spree. You've helped me greatly and probably saved the lives of alot of assholes today.

Anonymous said...

Um has no one else quit smoking since the last entry???

face said...

Day two.. Never thoyght i'd get past day one...Loved this post- I am angry and sad today, bored and tired,.but on wellbutrin (other reasons, over a year now, thought i'd try before getting off WB) and thank god for that...going to sleep (hopefully) and end day two.. Onto day 3 tomorrow. Yay for me.

face said...

Day two.. Never thoyght i'd get past day one...Loved this post- I am angry and sad today, bored and tired,.but on wellbutrin (other reasons, over a year now, thought i'd try before getting off WB) and thank god for that...going to sleep (hopefully) and end day two.. Onto day 3 tomorrow. Yay for me.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post - only day two for me and I have tried to quit in past but this is first time it has caused me to cry like a baby for no reason - reading your post helped a lot - I already have physical problems due to smoking - to die would be easy however suffering is not what I want to face as I grow older - and with circulation causing my toes to go numb is not good - thanks for the help

Anonymous said...

Just glad someone else is feeling the way I do. Messed up. Only end of day two and I feel defeated.

Anonymous said...

Reading this has helped me stay positive. I quit cold turkey!

http://whyquit.com/whyquit/a_benefits_time_table.html

Anonymous said...

Man, day three no smoking. Yesterday was hell. Determined to stop smoking.
Reading the post was good.... Thanks

Anonymous said...

I made sixty days today, I love your post it keeps me going. I smoked for 40 years. In the last three years I quit 27 times and Gaines thirty seven pounds. No one could imagine withdrawal symptoms so bad, crying Jags. Breathing . This is hard. I looked at the Newports on the sign at the gas station 6.89 pls tax. I'm not going back I'm done I smell pretty and want to stay that way.

Meaghan said...

Day five for me. I fucking love this post. I fucking love cigarettes. I pretty much didn't want to quit cuz everyone told me to quit. Then I got worried about wrinkles, and I'm way shallow. So I quit. I'm tired of coughing. And all the literature that says the physical shit stops after day three is a lie. I still feel like ass. And I'm coughing. And I'm sleepy. Mmmmmmmm.... sweet carbon monoxide....

Anonymous said...

This is the end of day 3 for me. And what a fucking bullshit day it's been. I'm very determined not to smoke anymore but at this point I feel I could chew a cigarette to get the affects that much faster. So far I have headaches, nausea, have crying and anger fits and can't stop shaking. All I have to say to the people who tell us "just quit" is fuck you.. Just fuck you. This is by far the hardest thing I've done in my life.

Anonymous said...

Good Lord Almighty! Day 8 for me WITH a nicotine patch. I want to kill, cry, vomit, chew my nails, and just sit down and relax with a damn cigarette! I have smoked for almost 40 years. I miss every single cigarette I don't smoke! But I want to breathe! And I want to spend $6+ dollars a day on something else. Fuck the government taxes and the high paid executives at Phillip Morris. I need some new clothes.